And to Think I Hardly Knew You
by Flightless503
Summary: A relationship like ours was never meant to be. He was the poor, pathetic boy that we all passed off as dirt. I was the "king", the high and mighty monarch of the school. But something drew me to him. Something made me fall in love with him. Even now, as I look back... it seemed impossible. But even once I had him... something threatened to take my world away. Modern AU.
1. The Popular Boy

**The Popular Boy **

**Hello Flightless readers! ^^ I've been horribly inactive on both Fanfiction and dA, and I apologize, really! ;; Yet, here I am, starting a new fanfiction instead of working on the ones I should be. I'm a lazy sack, I know. =_= I dread the day I start college. This was sitting on my iPod for a while and I decided to upload it, so I hope you enjoy! ^^ I'm working on some art stuff too, don't worry! ^^ **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the uber cutie whom we all know as Ciel, or the sexy booty-short wearing mastermind Alois. If I did… well… Kuroshitsuji would be all shota sparkles and waffles. :) **

Alois Macken. I never gave much thought to him. He was only in a few of my classes. The lowest of the low on the popularity scale, the one with no friends at all. He wore wiry glasses with bifocals because he couldn't afford contacts, and ratty clothes that he'd obviously bought at Goodwill. He didn't talk much, and no one knew hardly anything about him. But the two things that we all knew were these: He lived with his adopted father, and his little brother was dead. I thought it cruel that people would rather make fun of this rather than feel pity. But I didn't do anything to stop it, I couldn't lose my place of power at this school.

Of course it was stupid, because what really matters in high school are your grades, not how you crawl your way up the social ladder. But I managed to climb my way to the top with top marks, and now I, Ciel Phantomhive, and practically the king of the school. It gets useful, actually, with all of the brainwashed idiots doing what you say. That's how things are supposed to be, of course. They are all below me, and they will always be that way.

I usually avoided those that weren't at my level, of course, especially that Macken. Lord knows I'd never want to be seen with _him _of all people, the unpopular poor boy with a sob story. So you can understand that it was only by chance when I got paired with him for the science project, and I had to actually talk with him. So I told him right off the bat what I expected.

"I am not here to be your friend. I am not here to be nice to you or do all of the work. You are to do your part, I am to do mine, and we will attain the best grade possible." I looked down at him sternly. He nodded, and I knew he'd heard words like those before. I plopped down in a desk next to him and took out a piece of paper and a pencil, getting ready to write down my ideas. "Alright, Macken, I think-"

"We should conduct and experiment to show how motion and acceleration are used to power roller coasters. We could make diagrams, and a model to explain what we're doing. We should also include the formulas of Vf-Vi/T, for those who can't remember it. We can also take videos off of Youtube… or even go to an amusement park and record the roller coasters first-hand."

I blinked confusedly. I'd never heard his voice before… it was soft and felt warm against my ears, like a calming sort of music. I didn't even know he was the smart type either, I'd never seen his grades or anything. I didn't even check the honor roles, I knew I was always first on the list.

I nodded slowly, but didn't write anything down. He looked at me sort of funny before taking the paper and pencil out of my hands. "Here…" He jotted down what he had suggested. His cursive was neat and flowing, I could read it flawlessly. "My father has some equipment we could use to build a model… a really nice one…" He wrote this down too, and I watched his hand move smoothly across the paper, his thin fingers nudging the pencil into forming letters, words. "I have paints, I could design the diagrams… and maybe sometime next week we could go to Six Flags." He looked up at me, tilting his head.

I nodded quickly. "Yes, yes, that would work. My father could drive us, it's not that far away." The amusement park was only a half hour away, it was very close.

Alois nodded his approval. "When we're doing the diagrams and models, you can come to my house so we can use my tools…" He ripped off a corner of the page and wrote down his address. "And if we need to get anything else done, I'll come to yours. Does that sound good?"

"Yes, that works fine."

"You should come over today too so we can plan this out a bit more. Alright? You can walk home with me." He started to pack up his books, not even looking at me. I'd never been treated in this way before, he seemed to not care who I was or what I thought of him. He was completely indifferent, it was… strange.

"Wait," I was pulled out of my thoughts. "_Walk _home?"

"Yeah, I'll meet you in front of the school after the final bell." He appeared to be unfazed by this, unlike myself.

"_Walk?_" I asked again.

"Yeah, I don't ride the bus anymore. My father works until ten at night, I don't have a ride." He looked up at me, his electric blue eyes taking in my face. I felt like he could see right through me, and I shifted uncomfortably. "What? Can't take a little walk out in the sun? Will it bleach your designer shirt?"

I huffed indignantly, my eyes narrowing. "I'll be perfectly fine walking." I said, mostly to assure myself. "I'll just call my father and tell him where I'll be." I pulled my Droid out of my pocket, dialing the number of my adopted father. Alois raised his eyebrows at the expensive phone, but said nothing, turning up his nose. He probably didn't have a phone, even a cheap one. Ridiculous, how could anyone live without a cell phone?

"Yeah, dad, I'll be working on a science project with someone after school. Pick me up at, about four." That would give us around an hour and a half to settle things, and that was more than enough.

"Oh! Does my Ciel finally have a friend?"

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Stupid Sebastian. "He is NOT my friend. I despise him." I shot a glare at the blonde next to me, who just looked with a bored expression back at me, not caring in the slightest. For some reason, this infuriated me.

"Oh well, I'm sure you'll be good friends in the end, Ciel!" Sebastian said loudly, just trying to get on my nerves now.

I grit my teeth. "Stop hanging out with Aunt Grell so much. You're starting to act like her. Get a job. The only reason she talks to you is because Uncle William's always at WORK, like he's supposed to be."

I heard my adopted father sigh on the other end of the phone. "I can't help it, I don't have a wife to talk to. And I don't see you getting a job, you're in the eleventh grade!"

"It's not my fault no one ever loved you." I grumbled. "I don't need a job, I've got inheritance. Or did you forget again about the thousands of dollars my parents saved up for me?" I shot Alois another, almost gloating look before glancing away.

"Oh, no need to rub it in." Sebastian replied. "I'll see you at four."

"Alright. And stop talking to Grell." I ended the call, stuffing the phone in my pocket. "He's picking me up at four." I spoke to the boy beside me.

He nodded, adjusting the glasses on his nose. The bell rang, and I immediately stood up. "See you later." He said, picking up his things and holding out a hand politely to shake mine. I wrinkled my nose in disgust at the gesture.

"Whatever." I walked out of the classroom, leaving the boy standing alone. People jumped after me, bombarding me with questions about "That pathetic Macken freak." I dismissed most of them, I wasn't one to gossip.

I just hoped that we could get this project done and I could leave Macken far, far behind me. I didn't need him. I didn't need anyone. All I needed was myself, the King. Myself was enough.

**I really hope you liked it ^^ There will be an update soon, since I have my computer privileges back. And yes, I am planning on this being seme!Ciel. Bear with me, there may be some seme!Alois. Maybe. At some point. I WILL get to my two other fanfictions, I promise! I'm on spring break, I got time :3 **

**Reviews are greatly appreciated! Alois will blow you all a kiss for every review! Ciel won't do anything, because he's Ciel. But… but still! :3 **

**Huggles, **

**Emzi. **


	2. The Pauper's Abode

**The Pauper's Abode**

***waves sheepishly* Hello again! Remember when I said I would update during spring break because I had time? Heh… you should know by now not to listen to anything that I ever say, ever. I'm going to try and update regularly now, I suppose I'll update this one every Friday or Saturday… or just… within the week, I don't know X'D Anyways, the motivation to write chapter two came from the amazing review of the brilliant UchihaLeDisko. Without that review, I would've felt not-needed XD I love all the reviews I get! And I hope to get more! So here is chapter two! Yeah! Enjoy! :D **

As planned, I met Macken outside the school after the final bell. I took my time at my locker, so that not so many people would see me leaving school with him. As I walked down the hallway, all I could think about was how much I did _not _want to do this. I really didn't; Alois Macken was the last human on earth I ever wanted to come into contact with.

I saw him standing on the sidewalk, alone, a bag slung over his shoulder, a vacant expression hiding his thoughts. I strode up to him, and nodded. He led the way down the street, walking in silence, never even looking at me. I had never met someone like this, who wanted to acknowledge my existence as little as I did theirs. It was strange, and it bothered me. I didn't know how to act.

We rounded a corner to find that the sidewalk ended, but the blonde boy in front of me continued walking on the side of the road. The street was bordered by thick green woods, and I couldn't help but continuously glance around myself nervously. This was nothing like my own street- bordered by gardens and mansions and fountains of every kind. This was in the middle of nowhere. When finally he turned off the road onto a dirt driveway, my jaw dropped.

"You… You live here?" I asked, incredulous. It was a grey, one story house, with missing shingles, chipped wood, and peeling paint. The garage door on the side was dismally grey as well, with a layer of dirt and grime covering the square windows.

"Yes." The boy in front of me replied coolly. "Not quite the mansion you're used to, is it?" He turned on his heel and took the steps up to the porch. "Not all of us can be just as fortunate as you, with your _inheritance _and all. But we've learned to be grateful for what we have." He seemed to speak with an air of dignity, as if he was better than me. Tch, Pathetic. Poor people were always trying to convince others that they knew how to live, only because they had less. How in the world could they expect that to make sense to anyone else?

"I don't see how one could learn to find pleasure in having so little." I said snidely, following him up the porch and into the house. The yellowed carpet beneath my feet creaked, and I wrinkled my nose at the old smell in the house.

"Take off your shoes here." Alois instructed, removing his own dirty sneakers just next to the door.

"Why? It's already filthy enough in here." I commented.

"We could spend the day cleaning my house, if that's going to be your main concern every time you come here. We want things to be just picture perfect for you, don't we?" The blonde spat back, eyebrows raised. "Or we could get the project done, and not worry about my living conditions."

I sniffed disapprovingly at him, but slipped off my bright, new Osiris sneakers. They stood out splendidly next to his falling-apart-Converse.

He sat down on a faded couch, pulling two science textbooks and a notebook out of his backpack, pushing his glasses farther up his nose. "Come sit here, we need to plan this out more." He said, flipping through the textbooks. Talk about a nerd.

I stepped hesitantly over to the couch, as if I was afraid I'd step on something poisonous. I took a look at the couch, and it didn't look any more inviting than the floor. But I sat on the edge of it, nose wrinkled.

"Oh come off it." Alois spat, looking up at me over the lenses of his glasses, before going back to the books. "Don't be such a baby."

"I am _not _a baby." I hissed dangerously. This boy should know better than to pick a fight with me.

"Then stop walking around here like you're going to step on a mine." He said. "Nothing _in_ this house is going to kill you. But I wouldn't venture into the backyard. Thompson doesn't like strangers."

I could feel the color drain from my face, what kind of house did this boy live in? "Thompson…?"

"My dog. He's a Doberman. A pretty big one too." The blonde replied absently, chewing his eraser in thought before jotting down a few things.

I sat, stiff, unsure of what to say next. Suddenly a thick textbook was dumped onto my lap, along with a blank notebook and a pencil.

"Make yourself useful." Chimed the boy, before writing down more perfect notes.

"What… do you expect me to do?" I asked, dumbfounded. No one, _no one_, ordered me around like this.

Alois looked up, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Take notes. Write down things we need to know for this thing." After a pause, he spoke again. "Get on with it." He turned back to his own work.

I had the sudden urge to smack him upside the head. Who in their right mind told _me _what to do? Who would have the nerve to speak in such a way? I glared, my teeth grit, at the face ducked over a book, partially hidden by white-blonde bangs. What a complete _jerk_ this kid was. How rude! I clenched the pencil in my fist, knuckles white, before bending over the book myself. I read, not really registering the words, overcome with complete and utter fury.

Who did this kid think he was? At least a half hour passed and he looked up at me, still blankly taking in pages, not understanding any of it.

"You haven't taken a single note?" He asked, eyebrows raised, his face the portrait of someone who was extremely unimpressed.

"Shut up." I hissed. "I can hardly concentrate with _you _sitting right in front of me."

"Oh? But I've had someone as ignorant as you in front of me, and I've taken a whole page of notes." He held up his paper, covered in the neat, small script. "So you don't exactly have the right to say that. Your argument is invalid." He shrugged, flipping the paper over and starting to scribble things down. Without thinking, I threw the notebook in his face. He was really getting on my nerves.

He looked up, seeming almost bored. "Yes, ouch, that hurt horribly." He spoke sarcastically. "How mature of you."

He was so infuriating, _so _infuriating. "When are you going to just shut up?" I spat, fists clenched.

"What is your problem?" He asked in return. "I've shown you hospitality, and you've thrown it back in my face. I didn't have to be polite, I could've been a jerk like you. I tried to be nice in the beginning, but I've begun to notice this with people like you, you don't seem to appreciate manners anymore." He sighed in mock sympathy. "To think, the boy who has everything has less class than the boy who lives with almost nothing."

No, no, _no._ My dignity was _not _going to be ripped away by such an _idiotic _boy. I wasn't going to sit here and be spoken to like this. "Perhaps you'd learn to live a little if you had someone other than a dog for company, wouldn't you? A _little brother _would suffice, since you've obviously got no friends. Maybe a _brother _would give you a chance to let go a bit, have some fun." I smirked at him, take _that_, Macken.

Quickly he was on his feet, his fingers gripping the front of my shirt and pulling me into a standing position myself. He was surprisingly strong- I was shocked. "Don't you dare speak like that." He hissed. "You don't know, you would never understand. Don't you talk to me like I don't know what I've missed out on in my life." His teeth were grit, his cold blue eyes narrowed at me.

I tried to keep an expression of indifference on my face as I shoved him away. "Keep your hands off me." I warned, straightening my shirt. He tossed me my bag, and started shoving me towards the door.

"Get out." He growled. "Get out now." He left me standing at the door, in front of my shoes. "I'll do the stupid thing myself, don't bother coming back here ever again." Once my shoes were on, he tossed me out and slammed the door right in my face.

"Yes…" I said under my breath. "Hospitality indeed."

**End of chapter two! :D INTERESTING THINGS HAPPENED, INTERESTING THINGS INDEED. Review, pretty please! Ciel will… um… look you in the eye! Yes! You get the King of the school to actually **_**look **_**at you! What a privilege! **

**Hope you enjoyed~ see you sooon :3 **

**Huggles, **

**Emzi**


	3. Invincible

**Invincible**

**Hello once again everyone! ^^ I'd like to give a big thank you to my two reviewers- reviews give me motivation to write more! The longer the review, the more motivated I am! :D So here is chapter three! ^^ Enjoy! **

**OwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwO **

School the next day was normal- I had the usual crowd of ignorant people pestering me, to which I responded with coolness and smiles. It drove them crazy, the fools.

Everything was fine until, of course, science class. Alois took his usual seat, and I, the seat farthest from him. He wasn't wearing his glasses… where were they? Had he finally understood the term "normal" And bought contacts?

No, that wasn't possible, I could see how he squinted to read the chalkboard- obviously with no success. His glasses were broken.

I laughed softly under my breath. It served him right, the jerk. He was so rude, so insolent, and now he couldn't see. Good. I watched him bite his lip nervously, and glance around. I could tell that everything was a blur to him, what with that idiotic look of confusion plastered on his face.

I continuously glanced at him throughout the class, and he seemed genuinely upset, he hadn't written down a single thing on the board, he couldn't see at all. At the bell signaling the end of class, I walked up to him. "What's the matter?" I asked, smirking. "Can't see anything without those silly glasses?"

"And why exactly is it of any concern to you?" Alois asked, bored, standing and holding his books to his chest. "It's my problem to deal with at the moment, so leave me to it." He turned on his heel and strode out of the room, making me suddenly realize my smirk had faded.

This boy… this absolutely _infuriating _boy was unaffected! Purely unfazed by anything I had said! Why, then, did his words bother _me _so badly? What made him so invincible, and _me _the weak one?

Scowling, I left the room as well, making my way to the lunchroom, books in hand. Alois had spiked my curiosity, now… how could he manage to remain unoffended by the things people said to him? The only time I'd ever seen him really _upset _was when I brought up his brother. Everything else, he had seemed indifferent.

Paying the lunch lady and leaving the line, I passed my usual table, tray in hand. I wouldn't change my expression, they'd just have to deal with what I was about to do. Skipping past crowds and crowds of my _subjects_, I moved towards the almost-empty table in the corner, where Alois Macken sat, alone.

I slipped into the bench opposite him, dropping my tray onto the table. He didn't have any lunch, he just sat and sketched on a blank piece of paper, obviously frustrated by the fact that he couldn't see. He looked up, squinting at me, before his eyes widened in surprise.

"What are you up to, in this neck of the woods?" He asked casually, masking his shock and turning back to his drawing.

"I wanted to ask you something." I said.

"If you're asking about the project- we're still partners. I'm sorry about my outburst yesterday, the topic of my brother is a bit touchy, in case you didn't already know." He replied, almost bored.

"No, not that." I said, annoyed. "I wanted to ask you how you are so different from the rest of us."

He looked up at me, tilted his head. "Whatever do you mean?"

I scowled, eyes narrowed. This was not something I was comfortable elaborating, why didn't he just understand what I wanted to know? "I mean… why are you… why don't you…" I grit my teeth. "Forget it." I stood, snatching up my tray and turning to leave.

"You want to know why I am not upset at you? For the way you speak to me?" I could hear the smile in his voice. "You want to know why you aren't like that."

I turned on him, glaring. "Don't act like you know me. Don't speak like you can read my every thought."

He watched me for a moment longer, before returning to his sketch. Infuriated by this, I opened the milk carton on my tray, and tipped it upside down, watching the white liquid spatter all over his papers, his books, his clothes. Smirking triumphantly, I stepped back, meeting his eyes as he stared up at me.

A crowd of "ooooooohs" sounded in our direction, people giggling and laughing at my actions, the coy smirk on my face.

Alois blinked at me, smiled, and stood, picking up his milk-drenched belongings. "Have a good day, I hope you're satisfied." He said, turning on his heel and walking right out of the lunchroom.

I watched, silent, along with the rest of the students, as the dirt-poor, half-blind boy strode right out, head held high. How… how was he so… invincible?

**OwOwOwOwOwOwOwO **

**The end! This was basically a filler, I suppose, I didn't quite know what to do next XDD But I hope you enjoyed it all the same! :D Revieewww pleeaseeee~ Or Ciel will dump milk all over you! **

**Huggles, **

**Emzi. **


	4. Inside the Mind of the Victim

**Inside the Mind of the Victim **

**Here I am with chapter four! :D I also have chapter five written, but I kinda wanna keep you waiting… ^^ But I might double post today. I'm not sure. As you might have noticed, the title changed too! I never really liked the first one, but I hope you like the new name :3 Please enjoy this chapter, and tell me what you think! ^^ **

**OwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwO **

_My eyes glanced over the razor in my pencil case, just ghosted over it for but a second. I stood in front of the sink in the restroom, having wiped the milk off of everything with a wet paper towel; still damp, but at least the stench of milk wouldn't follow me around. _

_That boy… That Phantomhive boy… He didn't understand, did he? What it was like to be at the bottom of everyone else… Sure I didn't act like he bothered me, I didn't like showing weakness. It was only when I was alone that I had thoughts like these, of hurting myself, of punishing myself for how pathetic I really was. Maybe, if I did that, I could make myself stronger, and I could truly disregard his words, and everyone else's, rather than pretend to. But… That would be a weak thing to do. It would show that I couldn't handle things like this, it would prove that I truly deserved to be worse than everyone else. _

_So I zipped up the container, looking away from the weapon concealed within. _

_I just wished someone, anyone, would stop to talk to me… to say hello… to be my friend… that would make me very happy. After Luka passed away… I had no one. My brother had been my only companion… and now he was gone. _

_I do have Thompson, and sometimes I think of who would feed him, or take him on walks, if not me. Definitely not my father… he would probably send the poor dog to the pound. _

_But a dog is not a human, a dog is not someone you can go out with to hang out, see a movie, have fun. Only other people can satisfy the attention I'm craving… A nice guy friend, who I could push around in the halls and play tricks on, while he sought revenge. Or, - and I know it is pointless of me to say it- a girlfriend. A sweet girl to hold my hand, hug me, tell me she loved me._

_No one tells me that anymore. _

_No one loves me. _

_I allowed a silent tear to stream down my cheek before hastily wiping it away. There was no time for this. There was no point in getting upset over something that would never change. This was my life, and I was going to stay strong so I could push through. I am not weak, and someday, I will come out on top of everyone, and they will wish they were me._

_I nodded reassuringly to myself, before picking up my things and turning away from the sink, to the restroom door. _

_Ciel Phantomhive stood there, watching me. _

**OwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwO **

**It's agonizingly short. I know. X'D Just a little delving into Alois' past, and a cliffhanger. It's so short, that I think I may double post. But, y'know, I dunno XD **

**So review, and I will post the next chapter soon! ^^ **

**Huggles, **

**Emzi**


	5. A Part of Me

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter Five! :D I just couldn't wait any longer, this must be posted! THANK YOU TO ALL MY REVIEWERS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU JUST CAN'T WITHSTAND ALL THIS LOVE. **

**TOO. MUCH. FEELS. EVEN I CAN'T HANDLE ALL THESE FEELS. Please enjoy chapter five!~ **

**OwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwO **

Macken… Crying…? But he was so strong, so flawless, so invincible! I thought the words of others didn't affect him, I thought that he stood on his own, as I did, with no one to lean on. But he… with no one for him… he crumbles.

I pushed all this to the back of my mind. Did any of it matter? No. Since I saw this boy show his weakness… what was stopping me?

"Aw, did I make you cry?" I asked mockingly. He stared back defiantly. "Oh, no need to put up that façade, I know I affect you. I get in through the cracks and push all the buttons, and no one bothers to stick up for you because no one cares. No one." I didn't know what came over me, but I felt the urge to keep speaking foul things, to make him feel horrible. "You have no friends, no one who would even try to help you. You sit at home with nothing but a stupid dog, you don't even have a brother anymore. It's pathetic that he was the only thing you had, at one time. But even he didn't care to stick around, did he?" I smiled cruelly, expecting the reaction he gave me. He dropped everything and ran, but I was prepared. Grabbing the front of his shirt I flung him sideways, watching as he crashed through a stall door and fell right onto one of the toilets. He might have been strong, but I was stronger.

I stood in front of his pathetic form, sprawled over the toilet, teeth grit, electric blue eyes glaring up at me.

"That's not funny." He hissed.

I laughed. "I wasn't trying to be funny. I'm just stating the facts…" HE was small. Maybe, with just a slight nudge, he would… I smirked, and without even giving it a second thought, my foot went to his stomach and pushed, his frail body curling in and sinking into the toilet, soaking those already-filthy jeans. "Oh look, there happens to be some shit in the toilet." I sneered. "Someone forgot to flush." I pressed the lever down, and water overflowed, up and into his clothes. I stepped back before the mess could get into my shoes, and smiled tauntingly at him, before turning and walking right out.

"What were you up to in there?" One of my followers, Joel, asked as I stepped out smiling. "I heard talking and… and a crash!"

"Nothing to worry about, Joel." I said smoothly. "Just taking care of a mess."

**OwOwOwOwOwOwO **

I didn't see Alois for the rest of the day, not that I cared at all. I had heard rumors that he had left school early… which I didn't doubt.

I don't know what made me so happy to see him in pain, to see him pressed further into the dirt. Perhaps I wanted to get rid of the one person who reminded me of myself… He was so weak, even if he tried to seem strong. It was pitiful, but… it was me.

When my parents died, at the beginning of my freshman year of high school, I was the weak one. I was the kid who everyone hated, who everyone wanted to rip apart.

I was Alois.

Eventually I realized that crying did nothing to help anything… Weakness was something to drag you down. So when Sebastian adopted me in the middle of freshman year, in a new town, at a new school, with new people… I vowed to change. I steeled myself, I bought the "right" clothes, I pushed my parents in to the far reaches of my mind. They weren't even a part of my life anymore. I closed off my emotions, and suddenly I was the King. I didn't need anyone, especially parents, to help me live my life. I only needed me, and myself was enough.

But Alois… can't do that. He hardly has money to pay for the trash he owns, let alone new things. He reminds me of someone from the past, of some part of me I really would rather forget. That's why I hurt him… That's why I want no part of him… It would do no good for me, or my reputation, or anything. If he can't even make a friend, that's his problem to deal with. He won't find one in me.

**OwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwO **

**Again, a bit short, but a little delving into Ciel's past as well ^^ I hope you liked it, though it isn't lengthy. The chapters will start to get longer! Possibly! :D **

**Please review! You don't know how happy it makes me! ;w; **

**Huggles, **

**Emzi~**


	6. The Knife and the Girlfriend

**The Knife, and the Girlfriend**

**Hey everyone! I'm BAAAACK! :D Are you excited for the update? I've chosen to do a DOUBLE update! :D Please enjoy this! :3 Also, I'm going to do a Question and Answer thingie here, these are things that might not be brought up in the story, so if you'd like to read them, you may. However if you'd rather it be to your own interpretations, go right ahead :3 **

**Q: Does Alois have a social disorder? ( like, RAD –Reactive attachment disorder- ) **

**A: No, he doesn't. I think he's just afraid to love anyone other than Luka, or care about them at all. He is awfully polite though, isn't he? Even to Ciel. **

**Q: Will Earl Trancy or Claude make an appearance? **

**A: I was not planning on having Earl Trancy make an entrance, seeing as in my head, there wasn't really a place for him in this story. Also, I have other problems in mind for this fic that don't include him, so no, I don't think he will be in this. However, Claude is Alois' guardian, his adopted father. So he will play a part. **

**Q: Was Alois abused prior to these events? Is he abused now? **

**A: I think he's neglected, if anything. Emotionally and physically neglected. Claude is a tough dad, and doesn't really pay much attention to him. He's kinda rough with Alois, and sharp with him, and doesn't really show him love. He's a no-nonsense kind of dad. So he wasn't abused, per say, but he doesn't have a loving and caring parent like Ciel does. **

**Q: There's been some confusion on who is seme and who is uke… can you set this straight again? **

**A: Alois is UKE for this fic. Ciel is SEME. :3 Enjoy! **

**OwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwO **

The next day, I only caught a glimpse of the Macken boy, before I confronted him. Whispers had been going around the school about the off-white bandage wrapped around his left forearm and wrist. He had tried to hide it, but we all knew what it was. He had cut himself.

I had to quickly force the guilt away, the pity. I admit with disgust, it was there, but not for long. I had to convince myself that it was good, that his self-discipline was good, he knew his place, he knew how truly pathetic he was.

And so my day went on as it normally did; doing schoolwork, ignoring the _peasants _and reminiscing in the praise of my _subjects_. Until lunch.

We had been permitted to eat in the courtyard today, since the spring weather had been moderately warm and sunny. I was so determined to break him, to make him suffer for being so like me, for not even realizing it. None of it was his fault, really. But I had to convince myself that it was.

After handing my empty tray to Joel and telling the rest of my peers to "watch this", I slipped into the bench across from the blonde boy.

His eyes seemed lifeless, the sharpness that was once there had dulled slightly, the clear blue appeared to be not so clear. I ignored this, and smiled tauntingly at him as he acknowledged my presence.

"Hello." He said quietly, looking right at me with those empty, dull, cerulean eyes.

"Alois, hello." I said with false sweetness, resting my chin in the palm of my hand. "Been making friends with something rather sharp, I see." I dared to trail my fingers along his bandage, to which he flinched and pulled away hastily.

"An accident." He lied. "Just an accident."

"Oh? _They _don't think so" I gestured with a tilt of my head at the smirking, snickering group behind me. "And neither do I. Tell me, do you know how weak you are now? Did you make sure you know how pathetic you are, how no one loves you? Do you know that now?"

He just looked at me, silent, but his eyes told me the answer. "Yes."

Of course he knew, with my persistence, how could he not? I smiled. "Good boy. Now, let's see that knife…" I snatched the only sealable container he owned- his pencil case- and unzipped it effortlessly. He made a grab for it, but I shoved him back. He tripped backwards over the bench and fell flat on his back on the ground wincing as his head hit the dirt.

I sat on the table, planting my feet on the bench he had sat, and sneered down at him. "What? Something in here you don't want me to see?" I asked, slipping my hand into the black case, and finding just what I was looking for. My hand held the handle of the razor as I whipped it out, holding it up for everyone in the courtyard to see. His face looked pained, he sat up and looked at me.

"Why?" His face seemed to ask. "Why would you do this to me?"

I held his gaze for a moment, the sun flashing off the silver blade. "At least you're not so filthy that you didn't clean it." I said mockingly. "It's spotless."

I lowered my hand. Still holding his gaze, I slipped the razor back into the pencil case, among the writing utensils, before tossing it onto his chest. I stood, leaning in close to him. "Do us all a favor." I hissed. "And don't do it again. Stop trying to make us feel sorry for you. We never will." My eyes narrowed at him, but I wasn't expecting what came next.

The palm of his hand came down on my cheek, hard, and the sound of the slap rang in my ears. A chorus of gasps echoed behind me, I felt the burning mark his hand had left on my face.

"You don't think I know that?" He spat, pushing me away and standing up, the old boldness visible in his eyes, vaguely. "I know none of you give a damn about me, I know none of you will ever feel sorry for me, but that's not why I did it!" He stomped his foot, glaring ta e. "You, you think you understand! You think you know everything and you think everyone just adores you But you're wrong! About everything! Soon everyone's going to realize what an ass you really are, Ciel Phantomhive and how completely stupid you are! I thought at least some of you would have the guts to stand up to him, you're in the eleventh grade!" He addressed the crowd behind me, glaring, and they just stared back. "I suppose I was wrong, considering you all follow him like stupid lost puppies!"

I scowled, stepping forward "Let me tell you something, you stupid little boy." I hissed dangerously. "No one will listen to you, and no on will do what you say. I am the popular one, I am the one with all the friends. I am the strong one, I'm the brave one, I'm the king!" I started this, and the words wouldn't stop coming. "I'm the one who managed to pick myself up! I'm the one who got over it, I'm the one who moved on! I'm the one who doesn't cry, I'm the one who accepted my parents' deaths and made sure they weren't a part of my life anymore! I'm the one who doesn't care about them anymore! I'm not you! That's why they listen to me! _I'M NOT YOU!_" I grabbed the front of his shirt and flung him to the ground, teeth grit. I was full of blind rage, of anger, where did it all come from?

The look I got from him infuriated me even more, he looked like he knew me exactly, like he knew what I went through! As if! I grabbed his shirt and slammed him into the ground again, if only to get rid of that look. I was successful as his head hit the ground, he winced.

"So don't think you can just stand up to me and I'll change. You can't change your place here. You are the worst, and everyone hates you, and that is how it will always be."

He opened his eyes and looked at me again. "Just keep talking." He said quietly. "Keep this up, I don't care. But no matter how hard you try, you will never break me."

OwOwOwOwOwOwOwO

The next time I saw Alois that day, he had a bandage wrapped around his head. You could see where dried blood had caused his hair to stick together, because some of it was still there.

I promptly ignored him, not caring to feel guilty or sorry or whatever. That kid should learn to stay away from me, and stop picking fights.

OwOwOwOwOwO

A few weeks passed. I continued to pester Alois, refusing to feel bad, or guilty, at all. Maybe I considered it. But weakness was not an option.

It was the end of the day, I was putting my books away in my backpack, and when I closed my locker, Elizabeth Middelford stood beside me.

Elizabeth was the head cheerleader, and just happened to be the flyer in her squad. Though normally only seniors were allowed to be cheer captain, the coach liked Elizabeth so much that she had allowed her to assumed the post of head cheerleader as an eleventh grader, this year. I never paid much attention to her, she was the normal girl of the "popular crowd", all short skirts and bouncing ponytails. She wasn't quite as popular with the boys as Ran Mao, because of her flat chest. But a lot of guys still liked her, though they were always rejected.

"Ciel! Um… good afternoon!" She said, a pink bag slung over her shoulder.

I nodded in greeting. "Elizabeth, hello."

She blushed, and I wondered why. I'd never understood girls, considering I never really hung out with any much, and I'd never had a girlfriend. But from what my "friends" had told me, I had my own fan club, and more than half the female student body were dying to change their last names to "Phantomhive". Creepy, but I suppose that's how girls are.

"Ciel, I… I erm… Had a question for you!" She looked up at me, nervous and determined and embarrassed all at once. How strange…

"Yes?" I watched her bounce up and down on the balls of her feet anxiously.

"Ciel would you… And, and I know you don't normally… but… I was just curious, I mean… Do you… I mean would you… Like to go out with me sometime…?" The last part was rushed, as though she just wanted to say it and get it over with.

I looked at her, amused. Go out? With her? As if. Someone so dim witted wasn't worth my attentions, and I certainly wasn't ready to display affection of any sort for anyone, especially this girl. But a girlfriend was just someone else to manipulate, another pawn, another source of power for me. All of the other "Popular boys" Had girlfriends, did they not? Why shouldn't I?

I smiled at her, turning on the charm. "Of course, Elizabeth." I said. "I would love to."

She flushed bright red, eyes wide. "R-really?"

"Yes, really."

She jumped up and down with excitement. "Ohmigod! No way!" She grabbed my hand and smiled at me, and I felt a piece of paper being slipped between my fingers. "Call me, okay? We can set up our first date!" With a kiss on the cheek, she was gone before I could even respond.

I smirked and looked down at the paper. She had planned ahead, maybe she wasn't as stupid as I thought. No matter, my "liking" her was nothing more than a façade. She was another pawn, and the most brainwashed of them all.

OwOwOwOwOwOwOwO

I did as Elizabeth instructed later, once I was home on my bed, whipping out my phone and adding her name to my contacts.

Alois' name was still there, along with his home phone. And, for a millisecond, I considered calling him to apologize. However I quickly dismissed this option and called my new girlfriend instead.

"Hello?"

"Elizabeth?"

"Oh, Ciel! You called!" I could hear her moving on the other line, possibly squirming from the excitement. Why did such silly things mean so much to girls?

"Of course I did, why wouldn't I?" I pretended to sound genuine, but truly I was bored, twirling a strand of silver hair around my finger.

"Oh, you're so sweet!" She squealed. "I think we should go out to dinner somewhere, tomorrow! What do you think?"

"Whatever you would like, Elizabeth."

"Oh, come now, call me Lizzy! And really, where do you like to eat?"

I made to answer her when my phone started ringing, an incoming call. "Hold on, Lizzy, I've got another call." I put her on hold, and saw that Alois was the one calling me. I raised an eyebrow and answered it. "Hello?"

"Ciel?"

"Yes? What do you want?" I snapped. I had no time to talk to him.

"Listen, I know you hate my guts." The boy on the other line replied. "I don't know why, but I know you've got a reason. Nevertheless, we are still lab partners for this project, so I need your help."

I scoffed. As if I needed him to tell me that.

"I've used some of my paints to make diagrams on the information I've collected." He continued. "But I need more notes before I can make more. Also, I found a website from the library computers where we can construct a roller coaster simulation, instead of making a model. I think that would be easier to describe acting forces…" He trailed off, as though thinking.

"And?" Why was he telling _me _this? He obviously didn't need my help.

"I need you to do some extra research for me… And I also wondered if we were still on for Six Flags? Sometime next week, maybe?"

I considered my schedule. "Friday of next week?" I asked.

"Sure, I can do that. But my father will be out…"

"Mine can drive us. Stop pestering me and hang up alread-" I was cut off from sounds on his end.

"-already told you, no phone after nine thirty! It's already after ten! Or can't you read a clock?" A harsh, man's voice sounded from the other end. "And what's with the bandages? So weak you can't even fend off anyone or fight back for yourself. Take that shit off, now!"

And then Alois' voice. It sounded almost distant. "Dad, dad, I'm sorry, I can't take them off I'll get blood on the-"

"No Take them off. They make you look stupid." A pause. "Right now!"

I heard rustling on the other end, a slap. "Don't disobey me!" The order was loud, rough, commanding. I heard a small cry from the other end, Alois.

And then the line went dead. I swallowed.

"Lizzy… I'll call you back later."

"O-Okay, Ciel, but what about din-" Click.

What… had I done?

OwOwOwOwOwO

**Ooh! You got a long chapter! :D MANY DEVELOPMENTS IN THIS CHAPTER, MANY :D I love all the reviews I receive and I'm so grateful! Please send more! The new chapter should be up in a jiffy! :D**


	7. Guilt?

**Guilt…? **

**Here I am! As promised with the double-post! :D Please enjoy! :3 **

OwOwOwOwO

I saw Alois the next day.

Well… not really. I tried not to look at him, I didn't even talk to him, I hardly acknowledged his presence.

His bandages were gone, he had washed the blood out of his hair, but there were no marks on him suggesting he had been hit. Maybe his father had only slapped him, maybe… Maybe it hadn't been as bad as it sounded.

I shook my head. Why should I care? I shouldn't. But something about his life...it was so different from mine. Maybe he couldn't recover because no one helped him.

My adopted father had always been optimistic and happy and loving, and there was no way I could deny the fact that he had indeed been a help. He had supported me in everything, and I know I don't act like it all the time but… I do love him.

Alois… he probably doesn't love his father very much… he has no support, I don't even know how he has the motivation to get up in the morning. He seemed so strong… how did he become that way? No one showed him how… Even I had someone to support me, and I'm not as good as he is.

I see it now… he _is _the better one. The world threw him away and he came back, with more bite than ever. Yeah he cut himself, but that was because of me, and the horrible things I did. Those things, he hadn't been prepared for, but towards everything else, he seemed invincible, unbreakable. It's all my fault, I was making his life worse, what would I have done had the same things been done to me? What would I have done?

I try not to think about it.

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"Oh Ciel! Where are we going for dinner tonight?" Elizabeth ran up to me after history class, entwining our fingers.

I smiled at her. "Wherever you would like, Lizzy. I'll pay."

She blushed. "No, really, where would _you_ like to go?"

I raised an eyebrow, feigning amusement. "Sweetheart, I would like to go wherever you want."

Her eyes went wide and she blushed even darker. A group of her friends giggled and shot her knowing looks as they passed, eyebrows waggling teasingly. I ignored them.

"You're the sweetest!" Elizabeth said, leaning up to kiss me. I made to close the gap between us- my first kiss didn't have to be anything special- but Alois passed us.

Though he didn't even bother to look, I felt a feeling surge through me, a feeling I'd never really bothered to feel before, and I pulled away before our lips could meet. What was that? Guilt? Why should I feel guilty kissing my girlfriend in front of the boy I was supposed to hate most? What should he matter?

Elizabeth looked away awkwardly and pulled her hand out of mine. "I'm sorry…" She said quietly, and made to leave. I grabbed her wrist and held her in place.

"It's fine." I said softly, kissing away a tear that had begun to trail down her cheek. "Just take things slow, alright? There's no rush." I smiled reassuringly at her, and took her hand.

Ick, this whole game was horribly revolting. How much longer until I vomited, from all this affection and kisses and… ugh, I shuddered if I thought about these meaningless touches for too long.

I followed Elizabeth to English, taking my entitled seat next to her. The lesson passed quickly, and before we knew it the bell had rung. I gave the girl a kiss on her forehead in goodbye, and left to go to science.

I was dreading this class, we had been informed that today would be a work day, which would mean I'd have to talk to Alois…

I entered the classroom, glancing around tentatively for the blonde boy. I saw him, in the chair beside the window. I couldn't help but notice how the sunlight illuminated his features… Flawless, creamy skin with a rosy hint, and fine white-blonde hair that framed electric blue eyes perfectly. I shook my head, hastily dismissing these thoughts. What… was wrong with me? So I felt pity for this brat and all of a sudden he was beautiful? No, that isn't even a possibility. He's a dirty rat who does nothing but cause trouble.

Somehow, though… the insults don't seem to have as much meaning as they once did.

OwOwOwOwOwO

**What do you think? :D Am I taking it too fast, do you think? :/ PLEASE, I NEED YOUR FEEDBACK, GRAND AUDIENCE! :D I love your reviews! Really! :D **

**Expect an update next week! :D **


	8. Unexplained Feelings

**It's been a while… I'm sorry! Can you ever forgive me? I was hiding from you in Canada. :3 I've been reminded that England doesn't have Six Flags, and their schools aren't the same as America's. I would change it but… I'm just writing this for fun, I won't make a big deal of things like that XDD I hope you can look past my utter failures XD Also, I've seen that stories with seme!Alois get tons and tons more reviews, and story traffic. Does that mean… I'm… not… normal? D: Enjoy Chapter Eight! :D **

**OwOwOwOwOwOwO **

I took my seat next to Alois, expertly hiding my discomfort.

"Hey." He said politely to me as I sat down.

I nodded at him and swallowed. "Hey." I answered back.

He looked at the teacher, who was giving instructions, before leaning in close to me. "That thing over the phone," He whispered, and I felt his warm breath hitting my neck. He was shorter than me, so he couldn't quite reach my ear. I suppressed a shiver. "Don't worry about it too much, my dad… he gets like that sometimes."

"I wasn't worrying." I lied easily as he pulled away.

He looked at me knowingly before returning his attention to the teacher, who had just finished his directions.

The blonde beside me pulled out a textbook, and I copied him, also pulling out my notebook.

He scooted his chair closer, so we could converse better, and started flipping through his book.

"Go to this page," He advised, showing me the little number in the corner of the page. I nodded and did as he said.

I was surprised to see that he wasn't disgusted by me, or at least upset.

Well… he probably was upset but he wasn't going to show it.

"I've already gotten most of the information we need, but I'm missing this bit…" He said, his brow furrowed as he leaned in close to read the page. I could tell it was impossible for him to make out the words, since his glasses had broken.

I closed his book, and put mine in between us. "Here, I'll read, you take the notes." I looked down at him, he seemed confused.

"Why are you acting like this? Do you feel bad for me?" He looked up at me, expression stern. "I don't need people to feel bad for me, because of him. I don't need anyone's pity."

I blinked, unsure of how to respond. It was obvious that he was uncomfortable… Almost no one had ever been nice to him. Hut it was because of this statement that I realized… his father might have broken his glasses. That had to have been the cause… And it's not like they could just buy a new pair, the man probably didn't even care.

How disgusting. What a filthy maggot, not even attempting to help the boy he had agreed to protect.

"Don't feel bad for me." He looked away, upset. "I'm not weak. I've always been fine on my own."

I nodded. That much I could understand and relate to. "Of course." I looked at him a moment longer- why was I just realizing now his perfect features? What had taken me so long to see how… how beautiful he was? He turned, looked at me, the pout on his lips making my heart pound. Perfect lips, perfect eyes, narrowed just so, expressing his irritation clearly. Perfect, perfect, absolutely perfect. I swallowed, feeling a very strange- and uncomfortable- feeling in my stomach, and in my… oh god, wait a second-

"Yes? What do you want?" He snapped.

My eyes widened, I looked away, mentally kicking myself. WHAT. THE. HELL? Why? I didn't even have sexual feelings like that around girls! No feelings even remotely close to that have ever crossed my mind! Maybe my body was just confused. I mean… I liked perfect things, didn't I? None of the girls here were perfect, they were stupid sluts with no common sense whatsoever. Dim witted hopeless cases. That had to be it, Alois was smart and good looking. That was why.

"Nothing." I said quickly. "Nothing, nothing. I'll read the book. Here, you tell me what to write." He couldn't see to write either… But at least he could tell me what to do.

He looked at me suspiciously, before nodding. "Yes, alright."

I read in hushed tones to him, so as not to disturb the other partners, and he instructed me on which bits to scribble down in my notebook. When we had finished gathering the information that we needed, I closed my book and put everything into my bag, watching him do the same.

"Is it really hard to see? Without your glasses?" I asked, watching him.

He looked at me, thoroughly aggravated at this point, and opened his mouth to retort. But he thought better about it, and so said instead, in a quieter voice, "Yes… yes it is." He tilted his head at me, inspecting me. "Are you making fun of me? What's gotten into you? You, the king of the school, the one who hates me! After all those things you did to me, why change now?" His lips were pursed, he looked at me expectantly.

I didn't know how to answer, I looked around myself nervously, there was no way I was going to admit to him what I felt, what I had realized.

Thankfully, the bell rang, and I stood, slinging my bag over my shoulder. "I… I'll talk to you later." I said hastily, before leaving him sitting there, looking lonely as always.

What in the world had gotten into me? Why… why in the world did I feel this way? These new experiences… I had never felt anything like this…

What was it? Why was it happening to me? Why over this boy, Alois? What did it mean?

**OwOwOwOwO **

**The chapters are getting shorter DX I apologize, I really like leaving you guys hanging XDD Maybe I'll double post tonight… I dunno :P Reviews! I love them! They mean a lot to me, they really do. **

**Huggles, **

**Emzi**


	9. Selflessness

**Hey guys! I'm back again! :D Please enjoy chapter nine! ^^ **

**OwOwOwOwOwOwO **

It seemed like days had gone by.

I sat in Alois' house again, on the couch. We were going over notes.

For the first time, he smiled at me, and his smile was beautiful. I don't know why but these words came out of my mouth, as if of their own accord.

He blushed and lowered his eyes, embarrassed. I didn't know he was that type… he didn't seem like one who stammered over flattery.

He chanced a glance at me, from under those long, beautiful lashes. His crystal eyes, such a beautiful blue, studied mine, his perfect silky skin graced with pink, his lips pulled up into a bashful smile.

I couldn't help myself, in a matter of moments our lips had met, soft on soft, moving warmly together. I didn't notice his arms around my neck, I only knew his lips.

I don't know what got into me, I pushed him back on the couch and kissed him hotly, my lips fluttering at his jaw and teasing his neck. He let me do it, he welcomed it, and when he emitted a small squeak of pleasure, I couldn't contain myself.

My lips captured his again, my hands finding his shirt and starting to force it up over his head. Soft skin, flawless skin, perfect, everything perfect.

I had just opened my mouth into the kiss when I woke up, jerking upright in bed. What was happening to me? It seemed that all day my mind could not stop traveling to the Macken boy, even when I had tried to kiss my own girlfriend in the hall! Something was definitely wrong with me. Perhaps I should schedule an appointment with Aunt Grell's therapist… I looked at the clock. It was six in the evening. Wasn't Sebastian going to wake me for dinner?

I heard my phone ringing, and moved to my backpack to answer it when I felt an unfamiliar, uncomfortable wetness between my legs. "God dammit." I hissed, thoroughly ashamed. I had never had a wet dream before, but I knew what they were, of course. I couldn't believe it- I had had a wet dream over a _boy, _over _Alois. _This was starting to become a nuisance, why was I suddenly noticing everything about Alois? Why had I caught myself sneaking glances at his arse? Why was I suddenly admiring the Jacob Black posters outside the downtown theater, and why oh _why_ was I itching to sing along to One Direction on the radio? What the hell was this? I couldn't take it.

I stood, walking gingerly to my backpack, uncomfortable in the stained jeans. I took out the phone and answered it, not really bothering to check who it was, as I stripped off my pants.

"Yeah? What is it?" I asked the person on the other end of the phone.

"Ciel?" Dammit, it was Alois. Mr. Perfect, "I'd totally tap that ass" Alois. What was I supposed to say, after I just had a wet dream about him?

"Alois." I answered. "What do you want?" I stripped the sheets off my bed, wrinkling my nose at them. It was strange, I didn't like it.

"I want to talk to you. I want to know what changed your mind." I pursed my lips, tossing the sheets and my jeans into the dirty clothes hamper. "I mean… I'm grateful and all that you've started being nicer but… It's strange. If you're just joking, you can cut the crap right now. And if you feel bad for me… Please don't. Thanks for being concerned, but I don't need pity from anyone."

Again, I could understand this. But… Alois was such a strong boy, with so much going for him. He was smart, sharp witted, and incredibly brave. Someone had to help him, someone had to move this kid forward. But no one else understood, no one else wanted to help him. How could he do this all by himself?

"I…" I swallowed, closed my eyes, thinking of all the times the boy ever spoke to me, all the things he'd ever said, and I realized _my _faults. He had been polite, he had tried to help, and all I did was throw his decency away. Alois… he… really was sweet… "I know." I told him. "I understand. I understand what it feels like to lose everything. You… I… I can't say this easily. I don't really know… how to say it…" I shifted uncomfortably. Somehow, I wanted to pour my heart out to this boy, but my pride would not allow it. "I was wrong, before. IN the way I thought. I was wrong." I was glad I couldn't see his face. I knew I wouldn't be able to look him in the eye. "I… I'm so-…" I bit my lip, resigned to the fact that I couldn't say it. "I… I regret it." Was the best I could do.

There was silence on the other line for a minute, and I took the opportunity to scan the floor for a new pair of jeans so I didn't have to go to dinner in my boxers.

"That… That's nice of you to say." He said quietly, and I knew he believed me. "Thank you… for that… I don't remember the last time someone tried to understand…" Silence again. "I… If ever you… I mean…" I stammered to get the words out. "If there's a… If you need… I…" I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I hesitated before speaking again, inhaling deeply, swallowing the pride that threatened to overwhelm me. "If you ever need someone to lean on… lean on me." I pulled the phone away from my ear and ended the call, feeling anxious, uncomfortable, yet somehow relieved. I had tossed away my own pride and… it felt good.

I could feel it… a crack in the ice of my heart. Reaching out to help someone other than myself… I never thought I'd dare to do it but now I had and… I wanted to do it again. I wanted to see Alois. I wanted to help him, with every problem he'd ever faced, I wanted to be there. This feeling… it was better than anything I'd ever felt. Why had it taken me so long to uncover this? Why had it taken me so long to be… selfless…?

**OwOwOwOwO **

**And there you have it folks :D Keep sending me your reviews! I love them and I read each one! I'd reply to all of them if only I knew what to say, without sounding repetitive ;A; I love you, beautiful readers! I promise a double post tonight! :D **

**Huggles, **

**Flightless**


	10. Love

**Hello again! Double post! As promised! :D Enjoy CHAPTER TEN! YAY! WE'VE HIT A LANDMARK! :D**

**OwOwOwOwO**

The next day was Friday.

Today, I had planned on making a difference.

My first difference. The first time I would try to do something good, something worth trying.

My power? I wasn't willing to give it all up. Not yet. I still had my pride. Maybe someday I would have nothing, just like Alois. But we wouldn't be alone. If I could be at his level… If I could be his equal… I would be firm in the knowledge that we were the strongest people in the school.

Right now, I had a lot of work to do.

I passed him in the hallway before first period- my eyes met his, and I waved at him, feeling the tiniest upturn in the corners of my lips.

He seemed shocked for a moment before lifting a hand in greeting as we passed, and it seemed like the world was in slow motion.

Light reflected on those perfect pools of liquid aquamarine, seeming to dance across his eyes, half hidden my silky, white-blonde bangs. Rosy lips twitched upwards slightly, as if they wanted to smile but had forgotten how to, as small soft fingers unfolded to wave at me. And then, in the blink of an eye, such a small moment was gone, held only to me by memory. I resisted the urge to turn and watch his retreating back, choosing instead to disappear into my first class. The usual horde of my brainwashed classmates took seats all around me- but somehow, my overwhelming popularity didn't seem so important anymore.

**OwOwOwOwOwO **

Lunch.

This was where I was going to make a stand. Stepping out of the lunch line, tray in hand, I took a deep breath.

People would talk. People would whisper. My name would go down in flames. I swallowed, thinking of these things hardly did me any good.

I passed my usual table- stuffed to capacity with Aberzombies, cheer freaks and football Frankenstiens- and slipped into the bench across from Alois.

I could tell he wasn't used to this- he seemed anxious, if not a little uncomfortable. "Hey." He said quietly.

"'Sup?" I said back, twisting off the cap of my water bottle and taking a few sips.

"Not going to pour milk on me today?" He was sketching again- no lunch.

"Don't tempt me." A lame attempt at a joke, but he managed a small, lopsided smile. It seemed sad, for a smile.

"Nice." He said, folding up the piece of paper he had been drawing on and slipping it in his binder. Before I could question it, Elizabeth plopped herself on my lap out of nowhere, and my arms found themselves around her waist.

"What are you doing _here?_" Her voice was innocently curious, but I could tell she was annoyed. "You should be sitting with _me!_"

Alois looked down, I could tell he felt out of place- like an intruder.

"I'm talking to Alois, Lizzy." I replied calmly, ignoring the batting of her eyelashes and the fact that her shirt was cut almost too low. That wasn't attractive, or persuasive in any way. It was disgusting, to me, it seemed that girls had no respect for their bodies. What a whore. "Can't I talk to someone besides the same old people every day?" I took another sip of my water.

"But this is _Alois Macken_ we're talking about, Ciel!" she spat his name like it was a disease, and for some reason, this irritated me.

"Yes? And?" I snapped at her, narrowing my eyes. She seemed affronted, pushing herself from my lap.

"I didn't think you could be so cruel to your own _girlfriend, _Ciel!" She quipped back, turning her back to me and marching off.

"Yeah, more like my bloody girlfriend from _hell._" I murmured under my breath, to which I thought I heard Alois laugh quietly. I turned back to him. "I don't even like her." I admitted tiredly.

Alois offered me that same, lopsided smile. "Why go out with her then? When you could have anyone you wanted?"

I shrugged. "Other guys have girlfriends, why shouldn't I? It's just a power thing, I suppose." Having finished my salad, I pushed my tray over to him, a whole slice of pizza slapped in the middle of it, oozing grease. "I don't really like any of the girls here." I stated truthfully.

He looked down at the food as if he didn't know what to do with it. "That's stupid."

"I suppose, if you think about it. I'm too popular for my own good- these girls are creepy."

"True."

There was silence for a moment. "It's called pizza, Alois. You eat it."

"I know what it is." He said, frowning. "You want me to eat all of it?"

"All of it. Put some meat on those twigs you call bones."

He picked up the pizza and took a bite stuffed with gooey cheese, his eyes widening slightly. "It's good!"

"You think cafeteria pizza is good? I'll have to drag you down to this Italian pizzeria downtown sometime- this stuff doesn't even compare." I smiled slightly as he at the whole thing, sucking the grease from his fingers.

"Maybe after school sometime? After we work on the project?" He asked, washing down the pizza with the juice carton I handed him.

"Sure, how about tomorrow? It's Saturday, we can get a lot of work done."

"That sounds good, I'll bring my paints and stuff, to finish up the diagrams."

"I'll pick you up." I gathered the garbage on my tray, gulping down the rest of my water. "Around eleven?"

"Eleven." He smiled slightly. "It's a date."

**OwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwO **

I know he didn't really mean a _date _date, but… I couldn't tear my mind from the words, they went around and around in my head, sending my heart into a frenzy.

Why did that matter so much to me? Why did those words drive me crazy? These feelings… they were unexplainable.

I bit my lip, trying to connect them to something. One little revelation on my part changed everything? It seemed a little silly.

But… it _had _changed everything, no matter how silly it seemed. I noticed Alois, I noticed every single detail about him. The curve of his waist, the hue of his eyes, the shine of his hair, the daintiness of his fingers. All things I noticed, all things I watched.

And his voice… light and sweet and pleasurable. He was so polite, so kind, considerate. He was Alois Macken, an angel to me in every aspect.

An angel.

My angel.

Mine.

And then I realized, because of all the romance films I was forced to watch when I stayed at Aunt Grell's house, because of Elizabeth, because of Sebastian's outspoken fantasies.

This feeling was something I knew, now, but didn't want to acknowledge. Why did I feel it? Why had my feelings changed since I realized how much _better _Alois was?

Was it because I didn't hate him anymore? Was it because I had convinced myself of his innocence? Maybe I had felt this way all along, but my brain was set on making me believe the opposite. I had liked him all along, but I was afraid to. Being gay wasn't exactly something I had planned on in my life. What would I do? What would I say? Should I tell Sebastian first? My "Friends"? Should I break up with Elizabeth? Should I ask out Alois? Or should I hide this all form everyone, a clever charade? And what if Alois didn't say yes? What if he rejected me? What if he wasn't gay?

Oh God, too many questions, too many problems.

Why oh why was I suddenly in love with Alois Macken?

**OwOwOwOwOwOwOwO **

**BWAHAHAH. IT HAS BEEN ACKNOWLEDGED. ACKNOWLEDGED AND PROCESSED. THE GREAT CIEL PHANTOMHIVE IS GAY. BWHAHAHAH. CHAPTER TEN, THE LANDMARK, THE LANDMARK THAT MARKS ALL LAND HERE. YES. PROGRESS. FLUFF IS JUST A HOP SKIP AND A JUMP AWAY. Or not… :3 I have no idea what to do after this… so I need some critique! I'm requesting it kindly as your friend, as your author person who supplies you with chapters and author stuff! :D So yeah, don't know when the next update will be XDD But anyways! Reviews! Help! Suggestions! :D That would be great! :D **

**Huggles, **

**Flightless**


	11. The Pizzeria

**Hiiii! :D Sorry this took so long… I knew what I wanted them to do, but… I just couldn't get it out in words! Forgive me! D: I've been thinking of designing a cover for this fic, but I don't really know what to do... any suggestions? If someons drew one for me that would be completely and utterly amazing, only because my art certainly isn't very good =_= My tablet exploded a few weeks ago anyways. But! My birthday is on the fourteenth, so I'm getting a new one! a nice one! YEEIII! :D Don't kill me for not understanding cars at all- I just saw a picture of this car and I was like ":I Sebastian would have that." Also, I'm making Ciel's birthday in the spring, so he can drive =A= But Alois' birthday is the same. Silly England, why is your driving age seventeen instead of sixteen? D: Despite all my failures, I hope you enjoy chapter eleven! :D**  


**P.S. Can you catch the little Sherlock reference here? I mean... I guess it's a reference :3  
**

**OwOwOwOwOwO**

I had always loved the purr of Sebastian's sleek, black Cadillac CIEN. It was sharp-looking, fast, and ultimately stylish.

I parallel parked in front of Alois' house, seeing him standing in front of the door, poster board and paints filling his arms. I stepped out of the car, walking quickly to meet him at his doorstep. "Let me take some of that." I took some of the paints from his hold, before realizing that this was sort of odd, and covering up by saying, "If you get paint on my dad's car he'll never forgive me."

He smiled slightly, and nodded. "That's fine."

I turned away, heading back to the car. I couldn't help it, he just looked so _cute _standing there with his arms full, a silly look of determination on his face. I had started accepting these thoughts. They just came to me, and I didn't do anything to stop them. They felt… _good_… I liked them.

I opened the passenger door, and saw his eyes widen at the way they lifted straight up-not out.

He looked at the Cadillac, incredulous, as I took the things from his arms and set them on the floor of the car.

I stood back, and he was snapped out of his trance, slipping almost tentatively in the passenger seat.

I laughed as I shut the door. "Scared you'll break it with one touch?"

"Yes…" He replied quietly as I slipped into my seat, and I laughed again.

"Relax, it's just a car."

"I don't even remember the last time I was in a car. I walk everywhere… my dad works every day, a really late shift." He jumped as I started the car, hearing that beautiful rumble beneath us.

"That sucks, you don't even know how to drive?"

"I'm not seventeen yet."

"Seriously?"

He shrugged. "My birthday is in December. I'm lucky I fell before the cutoff date, or I would be in tenth grade."

"You're younger than I thought." I said, turning onto the road that would take us straight to my house. What would happen when I turned eighteen? I'd be dating a minor. Well… if all went as I hoped it did.

He shrugged again. "Can't help that."

I nodded, and we sat in silence until I pulled into the garage, shutting off the car and stepping out to help Alois.

Sebastian wasn't home- to my relief. He'd have gone on and on about my new "friend". We set up at the kitchen table- he showed me what he had done so far- which was really quite good- and we set to work designing more diagrams. I pulled out my laptop, we played around with the simulation Alois had found. Around one, we started to get hungry, so we piled back in the car and I started for the pizza restaurant.

"You'll like it." I promised.**  
**

He nodded, and I could tell he was eager, no matter how much he tried to hide it. "Thank you for paying for me, really." He said.

"No problem." I replied with a small smile. "That's what friends do, isn't it?"

"Friends..." The word sounded strange coming from his lips, as though he was unused to saying it. He probably was, I couldn't help but feel sympathetic.

"That's right." I said firmly. "Friends."

"I've never had many friends... my last friend was my brother, but he left like everyone else did..."

If I wasn't driving, I don't think I would have been able to stop myself from hugging him right then and there. "Everyone else?"

"Mom and dad... they didn't want us. Dad left her and... mom tossed us out... I don't even know why I bother to call her that, 'mom'." a strange expression crossed his face, almost... a smirk? "She wasn't a mother. She was a monster." he shook his head, scowling. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be dumping all my problems on you. It's just that... my father now is never home and... he wouldn't listen to me if I tried to talk to him."

I thought of Sebastian. How he was always_ always _there for me when I needed him. He was someone I could talk to about anything, was I desperate enough to toss away my pride and open up more. I had loved my parents dearly, but I loved Sebastian too, and I knew he would always be there for me. Alois never had anyone to talk to except his brother, and I'm almost positive he wouldn't want to worry his younger sibling with such thoughts.

"I'm the only one you've been able to talk to for years, aren't I?" I pulled into the parking lot, and shut off the car, turning to face him. His eyes were downcast, his expression unreadable. He nodded. "But I'm your friend now. You can talk to me." He shook his head- it was obvious that he didn't _completely _trust me yet.

"It's fine. Let's go inside, alright?" he asked, looking up at me, his eyes pleading.

I watched him a second longer, and thought of how easy it would be to lean over and kiss him, just kiss him here, in this car, where the windows could fog up and people could pass by and wonder just who exactly was behaving so intimately behind the doors. But we wouldn't care. Hands would roam, lips would move, moans would escape mouths, it would be absolute ecstasy.

But no. Not yet. I couldn't have that sort of passion yet. I still had to prove myself. I had to prove that I loved him more than anything, that I was ever so regretful of what I had done. He had to forgive me, before I could make the slightest movement. He had to forgive me.

OwOwOwOwOwO

"_Mushrooms _on _pizza_?" Alois asked, shocked, upon looking over the menu.

I laughed at him. "Of course, mushrooms are my favorite topping. I'll let you have some of mine, if you're curious."

He nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that..." His eyes scanned over the menu, brow furrowed in concentration.

"Are you ready to order?" Our waitress asked kindly as she approached. "By the way, you two make an adorable couple."

I paled. "We're not dating." I said. Alois seemed uncomfortable, he stared down at the table. "Just friends."

"That's a shame, you're cute together."

I didn't know what to say to this, honestly. But the information made me want to squeal uncharacteristically.

"Well, your orders?" She asked, putting a pen to her notepad.

"Two slices of pepperoni and mushroom, please." I requested, closing my menu.

She nodded, turning towards Alois. "And you?"

"Um..." He scanned the menu again, with that same determined face- ahem, _cute!_- before saying, "One slice of sausage and onion? Please?" She smiled at him and wrote it down before collecting our menus.

"I'll be back in a bit." She said, before leaving.

After we had gotten over the awkwardness- we talked. Not really about anything in particular, but I got him to laugh, and smile. I kept him happy, I hoped. I wished we _were _together. It was the smallest thread of self control that was keeping me from leaning over the table and kissing him every time he did something amazingly cute. Even the way he blinked, the way his lips twitched up in a smile, strained my control. I was being overloaded with these feelings and I was doing nothing to stop them, I _wanted_ them.

I paid once we had finished, left a generous tip for the waitress, and we were driving home again.

"How did you like it?" I asked.

"Amazing..." he replied. "I'm stuffed..."

"After two slices of pizza? You've got a small stomach."

"They were big slices! And I don't eat much of anything anyways..." He sounded tired- I could tell that he really _was _full.

"You don't eat lunch at school."

"Not enough money. I eat a small breakfast and then dinner. Not a ton of food, but enough to keep me going. It's not like my life is at risk or anything, I'm content."

"You're horribly skinny."

"I'm not underweight for my height."

"You still should eat more."

"I can't."

I glanced at him. "Then I'll take you places. I'll buy food for you."

He smiled lopsidedly at me. "That's alright. I get by, I'm fine."

I smiled back slightly. "As long as you're happy with it."

"But... once in a while... food like this would be nice..." He grinned slyly, and I laughed.

"Trying to mooch off me, eh?"

"You gave me an offer."

I chuckled. He could be funny when he wanted to be.

OwOwOwOwOwO

We gathered up his things when we got home- the diagrams were finished and dried, and we had made progress on our simulation- and I took him home. I helped him carry the things into his house, and waved goodbye before I headed home.

I wanted to do that again. I wanted to go on a date with Alois Macken. I wanted to hold him, to kiss him, to hold his hand across the table. I wanted it so bad. I would ask him out on a date, this I was sure of. Monday. Monday, I'd do it.

OwOwOwOwOwO

Sebastian was home when I got back- he had carpooled with someone from work today- and he sat at the kitchen table, removing his shoes. He looked tired.

"Dad..." He had refused to respond to me if I called him by his first name. He always had to be dad now- something I was fine with, since I really did love him. But it still didn't feel completely right to call him that.

He looked up, and smiled. "Ciel, how did you do on your project?"

"Good, we made good progress and then went out to lunch."

"Last I heard you despised him. You went out to lunch?"

"That's... that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about." I looked away from him, at the table, my heart pounded. What would he think? Would he disown me? Would he be upset with me? Would he not love me anymore?

He watched me imploringly.

"Dad, I..." I tried, but the words just wouldn't come out... "I..." I was sure of this wasn't I? Of course. I knew I loved Alois. I knew this.  
"I'm gay."

**OwOwOwOwO**

**Yay! A long chapter! I almost made 2,000 words! :D I'm sorry for the wait, I really am. Some days I can't wait to get my hands on a computer and just type away, but this was a chapter where I just sat in front of a blank screen all like "durr... D:"  
**

**Ciel came out to Sebby! What will he think? D: Now I get to write another chapter. Woop dee doo. No worries- I know what I'm doing this time :3 Bwahahahaha.  
**

**Reviews are much appreciated! Much much much appreciated and loved! :D We've reached 50! o/o I'm so flattered! I love you guys! :D i don't respond to all of them, but I do read all of them, promise! I treasure every one! All the good, kind words! I love them! :D Thank you so much, I am so lucky and grateful!  
**

**Chapter twelve will be up sooner than later, I'll see you guys later!  
**

**Much huggles,  
**

**Flightless  
**


	12. The Call

**Hello again! I was surprised at the overload of reviews I got after I uploaded chapter eleven O.o I woke up and there were like... five O.o I love you guys :D I hope you enjoy chapter twelve! I can't wait to get more into this story and develop all the plot schemes I have in mind... bwaahhaha. :D**

**OwOwOwOwOwOwO  
**

We stared at each other for a few moments, auburn eyes against blue.

And then his arms were open, and I was in them, and I was crying against his shoulder. I cried because I was confused, I cried because I was so relieved that he still loved me, I cried because I had no idea what to do next, I cried because I couldn't stop myself from crying, I cried because this was all so strange, I cried because I was afraid. I was afraid. _I was afraid. _

"Hush." He whispered to me, and I felt his head against mine. "Quiet, now. Everything will be alright. Everything will be okay." It was the sound of his voice that convinced me. Everything _would _be okay, because he had said so, and he was Sebastian. Sebastian, guardian, _dad._

"Ciel." I quieted slightly, my eyes closed against the cloth of his shoulder. "Ciel, I'm proud of you."

_I'm proud of you._ He was proud. Of me. Of such a mean, horrible person. He was proud of me. It was these words that really gave me the strength to sit up, wipe my eyes, and continue moving. It was these words that made me want to strive for more, I _wanted _him to be proud of me. I loved him. I loved my father.

**OwOwOwOwOwOwO**

I called up one of my favorite restaurants- it wasn't foreign, but they had some of the best food I had ever tasted. I made reservations for two on Wednesday night, five thirty PM. I didn't think much on what I would do if he said no.

My cell phone sat in front of me, on the bed. I stared at it. It seemed to stare back. My heart pounded, my fingers shook. I swallowed. And then the phone was at my ear and it was ringing, and it seemed like my entire body was trembling.

Sebastian had encouraged me to do this. I had asked him about it, and he got so excited that he hugged me again, and bustled off to make a cake. He was strange that way, he made cakes for every occasion- and I mean each and every one. But I wasn't complaining, I'd much rather have his cakes than some stupid bakery's.

"Hello?" I jumped at the voice, cleared my throat.

"Alois, hey."

"Oh, Ciel! What is it?"

I had made sure to call him before 9:30. It was close to six now.

"I... I want you to know..." I had to force the words out of my mouth, I almost choked on them. "I want you to know that I'm sorry. _I'm sorry._ I never even tried to think... I never stopped to consider... Alois, I'm sorry for how I treated you. I'm sorry for what I did. And the only reason I didn't tell you in person is because I was afraid of the way you would look at me..." It was killing me to say this, but I knew that I had to. A kiss wouldn't be as sweet if I wasn't forgiven. A hug wouldn't be as satisfying. I knew I had to do this, no matter how hard I had to kick myself down.

He was silent- I could tell he was surprised.

"I ask you to forgive me. I ask you to _please _forgive me. Because I don't know how I can go on without your forgiveness. And I know this is sudden for you, I know this is weird, but... I had to."

There was silence again, I bit my lip.

"I forgive you. Of course I forgive you." He finally said, his voice was quiet. "Of course I do. I don't think I could hold a grudge against anyone who tried to make up for it... even if I wanted to. I forgive you."

I breathed a sigh of relief. But just words weren't enough- I had to prove myself too. I would try to.

"Alois, I... Thank you."

"Of course."

"And, Alois?"

"Yes?"

"Would you..." My palms were sweaty, my entire body shook. "Would you like to go to dinner with me? Wednesday night?"

"I would- w-wait you mean... like... like a _date_?"

I swallowed, the next words came out weaker than I'd expected them to. "Yes, a date."

"O-oh, Ciel... Ciel, I mean... You wanted...? You... you liked... W-well..." He stammered, struggled with the words, and it was killing me. I waited for an answer. "Ciel..." and I knew. The tone of his voice told me his answer. "Ciel, I-I'm sorry. I'm... I'm not gay."

And there it was. Plain and simple. _No._ "Oh," I cleared my throat. "That's fine, then. That's alright. I'm sorry I troubled you with this..."

"It's okay..."

We sat in silence for another moment- a silence so empty that I almost wanted to kill myself. "I'll see you Monday." I said finally.

"Yeah. See you Monday."

And we hung up, my phone magically finding itself flung against the wall and onto the floor.

That was it for me. I lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. I didn't even get up to eat Sebastian's cake.

**OwOwOwOwOwO **

**There it is! Ehehe... I probably shouldn't ask you if you enjoyed it, because you probably want to come at me with torches and pitchforks now D: I'm sorry! But if he just said yes that would make things much too easy! What's a good story without a little plot, eh?  
**

**This should have been chapter thirteen! D: Unlucky thirteen! Hm. I wonder what to do for the next chapter then... XD In short for now, though, Ciel is forgiven, so he doesn't feel so guilty any more. They're on good terms, things are settled, but now it's kind of awkward, for obvious reasons. They don't hate each other, but Ciel's upset and he's got Alois confused now, so we've just opened a whole other door to chaos! XD  
**

**Chapter thirteen should be up soon :3 I love all your reviews, I really do love them!  
**

**Huggles,  
**

**-Flightless  
**


	13. Into the Summer

**Chapter thirteen! I was kind of conflicted with what I wanted to do with this, and for now I think it will just be a filler... but I'll get back to actual plot development with the next few chapters, I hope. I'm working on figuring out how to transfer from awkwardness to a relationship. So forgive me if this is boring, but there's some things I just want to wrap up. Thank you for all your wonderful reviews- I'm already over sixty! I'm so grateful! **

**OwOwOwOwOwO  
**

Days came and went. Alois and I were on average terms- I was happy that he had forgiven me, but we weren't close, our relationship was neutral at best. We didn't hate each other. We weren't in love. We were neutral. Polite, and kind, but not in the setting I desired so much. I hoped he could see how sorry I was. I hoped he could see that I cared for him, that I deeply regretted my actions. I couldn't tell if I had proven myself, though. I was trying so hard, but our relationship didn't change at all.

Wednesday came faster than I expected. I went to the restaurant, dressed neatly, in my best. I sat at the table, and stared at the empty place across from me. I pretended he was there. I pretended he smiled at me. I pretended I could reach across the table and hold his hand, blow him a kiss. But all I was doing was sitting and eating in front of an empty space.

**OwOwOwOwOwO**

Days turned into weeks. We never went to Six Flags. We aced the project. And then there was no reason to speak anymore. No excuse I could use to sit with him at lunch.

I didn't break up with Elizabeth. What was the point, now?

All I had was friendly waves, small traces of smiles, and sparing conversation.

The project was over, and I didn't even have him anymore. I didn't have happiness. I didn't have love.

Spring began to merge into the long, warm days of summer, and I knew then that there would be no hope anymore.

Sebastian seemed worried. He said I wasn't eating. He said I didn't smile. I didn't notice. The whole world was a blur, now.

And then school ended, and life was humid, dripping sticky sweet residue from ice cream cones and warm days on the beach. But not for me. For me, it was a girlfriend I didn't even want calling non-stop, until finally leaving the fatal message that ended our relationship. I wandered around the house, watching TV, laying in my bed. What was there to do? Go back to my old life? Lounging at the skate part in basketball shorts and tank tops and trashing the name of anyone who chanced a second glance? Pushing kids off the half-pipe? Stealing their money to buy ice cream and swimsuit issues? Making them too terrified to even leave their house? It made me sick. I couldn't believe I used to hang out with those people, hitching rides to the beach to check out the girls in bikinis. I can't imagine that I ever had thoughts like they did.

I wouldn't say I was depressed.

Just... lost.

Alone.

And then the phone started ringing again, and I knew it was Elizabeth, and I didn't even look at it.

And then the doorbell rang. I didn't want to get it. Sebastian did, and I could just hear him squealing, and I figured it was Aunt Grell over for a surprise visit. I didn't want to talk to her, someone just send her away.

But it was a flash of white blonde-hair and beautiful aquamarine eyes that opened the door to my bedroom, taking in my limp form sprawled across the bed dressed in the same clothes I had been wearing for three days now.

My hair was mussed and frizzy- the humidity did horrible things when I didn't use conditioner- and my shorts were practically falling down from the way I was laying, my tank top loose on my shoulders and sliding up my stomach.

"Ciel Phantomhive." I turned my head to look at him, but I was too tired to feel the embarrassment that I had expected. "Ciel... Phantomhive..."

"Alois."

**OwOwOwOwOwOwO**

**Meh. Short. Filler. Derp. I don't know when the next update will be up, but I'll be gone all day tomorrow so I'm unsure of when I'll get to work on this. No matter, I updated three times in two days- Be proud of me XDD I'll see you guys later :3  
**

**Huggles,  
**

**-Flightless  
**


	14. Friends

**You all hate me now. And I have no regrets. I went to the beach today- the water was very cold, but it was nice because the heat is practically unbearable... =_= My goodness, I hope it cools down soon. I would normally make you guys wait longer for an update, but... I dunno I figured that while I have time, I might as well do it XP Enjoy chapter 14! I'm sure you will :D **

**OwOwOwOwOwO  
**

He walked in front of me, hands on hips. My eyes traveled up his thin, slender waist to meet his eyes, which were narrowed at me sternly. I'd never seen an expression like that on his face before- gentle, yet firm.

"Get up." He ordered. When I only watched him, he said it again, with more force. "Get up."

I couldn't deny him. I sat up, pushing myself to my feet. Though I towered over him, he didn't cower at all, he still held that look, the one that suggested he was more powerful than me. In a way, he was.

"Bathroom." He pointed out my bedroom door. "Go." I did as he said, face expressionless. He followed me, throwing open the shower curtain and pointing into the tub. "Shower. Now." He closed the door and left.

It took me a second to register what had just happened. Alois Macken, _my _Alois, just entered my room and forced me into a shower. Think on that for a second, really.

What was my other option, leave the bathroom and refuse him? He'd just force me in again. And what point was there in denying him? I couldn't.

So I stripped off my clothes and took a shower, letting the warm water cleanse me of my filth and loneliness.

I stepped out of the bathroom, steam pouring out the door, water dripping from my hair and onto my chest, a towel around my waist, to find Alois standing there, a wad of my clothes in his arms. I almost smiled at seeing the blush that he was so obviously trying to hide as he handed over the clothes. "Change."

Once I was dressed in a pair of baggy shorts, new underwear, and a nice clean tank top, I was ordered to comb my hair, until I was sat down at the dinner table. He slipped a plate piled high with steak, rice, and green beans -prepared by Sebastian- under my nose.

"Eat." I looked up at him, his hands on his hips again, watching me. "You are not leaving that chair until you eat every. Last. Bite."

I watched him for a moment longer - looking cute and determined and absolutely delicious- before starting to shovel forkfuls of food into my mouth. I hadn't realized until now how hungry I was. He stood and stared as I ate all of it, before dragging me back into the bathroom to brush my teeth- the full two minutes. From there I was instructed to clean my room, make my bed, vacuum, organize, and apply air freshener, until everything was sparkling and smelling of cherry blossoms.

"There." He said proudly when I was all done.

Sebastian entered, eyes wide. "Bravo, you're better than me with children."

Alois only smiled. "It's nothing, Mr. Michaelis, really."

My adopted father smiled back. "You're a lifesaver, Alois."

"Enough, really." the blonde said, not unkindly. "It's what friends do. We take care of each other."

Take care of each other...

"That's right." I said, and I smiled at him. "We take care of each other. So now, you have to come with me." I beckoned for him to follow- I had an idea in mind.

**OwOwOwOwOwO**

When we were in the car, on our way, he finally posed the question. "Where are we going?"

To which I responded, "You'll see."

I parked just outside the special eye doctor Sebastian always took me to, and led him in. "If you're going to be walking to my house all summer, you better be able to see so someone doesn't run over you."

His eyes widened when he realized what I meant, and he tried to run out the door. "N-no! I couldn't ask that! My prescription is expensive!"

"Hush." I grabbed his wrist, pulling him to the front desk. "I've got money to spare."

"Can I help you?" The lady at the front desk asked, as I struggled to keep Alois still.

"Yes, I am Ciel Phantomhive, and I would like to see Dr. Knox. My friend needs an emergency eye appointment." I squeezed Alois' wrist harder and he finally stopped moving, looking down at his toes. It was obvious that he didn't approve of all this special attention.

"Mr. Phantomhive! Of course! Go right in!" She waved me through the hallway, and I led Alois with me to the room labeled "Dr. Ronald Knox".

"Ah, Ciel!" He called as I entered. "It's been a while since I saw you!" He jumped up, ruffling my hair. "Who's this? Hi there!" He shook Alois' hand, to which the other boy blushed and hid behind me. He was awfully shy, I was starting to realize.

"This is my friend, Alois Macken."

"Alois! Come, sit down!" He pulled Alois into the examining chair, and started the appointment. I stood in the doorway and smiled reassuringly whenever the nervous blonde glanced at me.

When finally, Dr. Knox was done, he was stunned. "Your eyes are this bad and you don't have glasses?"

"I don't even remember when my last eye appointment was. My other glasses broke."

"Well we'll just have to fix you up, then! Pick a set of frames you like, that is, if you can see them!" the Doctor joked, showing Alois to a wall of shelves with different frames in display cases.

"A-ah..." Alois examined all of them, but he seemed confused. "They're all so fancy!" he whispered urgently to me. "And expensive! I don't know which ones to pick!"

I laughed. "Pick out ones that you like!"

He examined them, before squinting in at a pair of thick, black ones. "Those." He said. "I like those."

They were cute. Very cute. Too cute. Maximum cuteness.

"These." I pointed them out to Dr. Knox. "I would like to buy these for him."

He nodded, and smiled at us. "Of course! I'll send off the order and your glasses should be at Mr. Phantomhive's house in a few days."

"Premium shipping." I said.

He grinned. "Three days tops."

"There, see? You won't be blind for much longer. I'll drive to your house when they get here."

Alois smiled sheepishly, blushing again. "I'm sorry to trouble you, I-"

"Hush. You couldn't have gone the rest of your life without those glasses. Apologize once more and I'll never forgive you."

He was quiet now, looking down at his toes.

"Thank you Dr. Knox, you were a big help." I said, starting to leave.

"Anything for you, Ciel!"

I held open the door for Alois, just before Ronald shouted, "By the way, you two would make an adorable couple!"

**OwOwOwOwOwO **

**Better? Happy? Excellent. I love reviews you know, really. All of you readers- I love you ever so much, I don't know where my motivation would be if I didn't have you! Chapter Fifteen should be up... sometime this week? Be on the lookout :D See you soon! **

**Huggles,  
**

**-Flightless  
**


	15. Okay seriously

**Alright. Before I even think about writing the next chapter, I need to put something out there. **

**Why would you flame me?  
**

**Don't get me wrong, I appreciate reviews, but when someone says something mean like that, I can't take it.  
**

**Seriously. You have no idea what is going on in my life and therefore you should kindly keep your disgusting opinions to yourself.  
**

**I do not to well with nasty people.  
**

**Not at all.  
**

**I sat there and almost cried because of what you said to me, so you don't know how it affects people.  
**

**You, anon, you're just a coward. Taking the empty shape and form of an anonymous user just to put me down. What an incredibly horrible person you are.  
**

**I've had real problems in my life with bullying, with people being so mean and horrible, that I don't need it from someone who I've never even met before. On top of that, the stress in my life right now is almost too much, and I don't need the added weight of your nasty opinion.  
**

**I will do what I want with this fanfiction. You hear me? _I will do whatever the hell I want. _**

**That's what fanfiction is about, isn't it? "Unleash your Imagination". This was my imagination, and excuse me if it is not up to your plain old boring standards. If I want Ciel to be the backstabbing popular boy? I'm going to do it. If I want Alois to be the complicated poor-boy? I'm going to do it.  
**

**If you have a problem with what I do, why did you sit and read the whole thing?  
**

**I love Kuroshitsuji to the ends of the earth and back, I love its characters at an impossible level. We all do. Why do we have to put each other down, we're a family, you guys. A fandom is a family. It's been like that in all the other fandoms I've ever been in- a family. If someone didn't like something, it was passed off as a joke, you laughed it off, you didn't put someone down about it. What if I killed myself because of you? What if that was just the last straw? That would be something else, now wouldn't it?  
**

**The immaturity of the Kuro fandom is astounding to me. Absolutely astounding.  
**

**I'm going on hiatus for a while, I need a break from this, okay? I'll post chapter fifteen whenever it gets written.  
**

**I'll see you guys later.  
**

**-Flightless  
**


	16. Beautiful Summer

**Hey guys c: It's my birthday, and I figured the least I could do today was update. I turn fourteen on the fourteenth! Yei! :D I'm not going to delete the last chapter fifteen- I don't want to lose all those beautiful reviews ;A; you guys made me cry, okay? Real tears. I don't want to lose those kind words, I had no idea so many people loved this story so much, I don't deserve such sweet people, such nice compliments. You have no idea how grateful I am for you, okei ;A; I'm moving to Alabama on Friday- so for a few weeks, I suppose, I won't update while we unpack and move into the new house. So here's chapter "fifteen" :3 **

**OwOwOwOwOwO **

Before, my summer sucked. It wasn't even summer.

But now… My summer was long, hot days, dripping residue from ice cream cones and long days at the beach.

**OwOwOwOwO **

Alois visited regularly- I almost couldn't control myself around him, those new glasses were just… And on hot days, I'd drive us to the beach, and that was almost a bad idea.

He wore a shirt over his swim trunks in the water- he was uncomfortable otherwise- but when his hair was dripping wet, and he was laughing, I just wanted to throw him into the water and kiss him.

I can definitely say we grew close in just the first month of hanging out every day. He had even called me his best friend, once, and that made me happy. At least I could make him smile, at least I could brighten his day. That was perfectly fine.

I can specifically remember the day he really opened up to me… that day… is one I'll never forget.

Sebastian had wanted to go to the beach house and spend a few weeks there- he told me to invite Alois, and Thompson. It was a few days until he responded… and I didn't know why until a few days into our little "vacation".

We sat on the porch, legs dangling off the edge. It had become our new "place". We sat, and talked. It was early in the morning, so it was cool, especially with the breeze the ocean provided. It felt nice.

"Ciel…" He said, though he didn't look at me, his eyes stayed on the ocean in the distance.

"What is it?"

"Thank you."

"Of course, I wouldn't dream of leaving you behind." I laughed. "What would you do all day?"

"No, I mean… Thank you for being my friend."

I stopped, and looked at him. He looked at me too.

"Thank you for talking to me… and wanting to spend time with me…. Thank you. I don't know what changed your mind, but… but thank you. So much." The way the wind blew his hair, and early morning sun shone in the blue of his eyes… he was beautiful.

"You're welcome." I said softly. "You're always welcome."

"My father… I don't know why he adopted me. I just get in the way." He looked down at the sand beneath our feet. "He almost wouldn't let me come with you… he got upset… He… he wanted be to stay home… But… but I'm alone all day… me and Thompson… No one talks to me. No one wants to even look at me… I'm so lonely, all the time…" I thought I heard his voice tremble, but no, I was just imagining things. "I don't want to give people another reason to pick on me, I can't show any weakness." He said, his voice deathly quiet. "It's hard for me, but… being with you, I think… has helped. Getting away from my dad, being with someone else… I'm so happy here. You heard how he is… he snaps easily, he lashes out. But I don't blame him… he works hard, almost too hard. Still… he doesn't love me…"

I watched him, and I took all this in. We were silent for a moment. "Being with you has helped me too. I never would have changed, if I didn't know you. You're so strong, you don't let anything get to you, you don't let what anyone says get you down. That is an amazing quality, in a person. I could never be like that."

He looked up, and smiled. "Thank you." He whispered.

**OwOwOwOwOwOwO **

Over the next few days, Alois seemed more relaxed. He played with Thompson- who was very well behaved- and was more comfortable with touching. Normally, a pat on the back or a hand on his shoulder would cause him to shy away. But now, it was different. We sat close on the couch, our arms touching, and he didn't even wince.

He seemed to smile more, and he even giggled for me once, which drove me crazy of course.

Sebastian made a new cake almost every day, but it seemed like neither of us took much notice in him. All we knew was each other.

And then, came the last day of our vacation. Alois and I sat in our place, the deep red sunset casting a glow over the entire scene. It was quiet, the only sound being the distant crashing of waves. Beautiful… quiet… serene….

I felt his eyes on me, studying me, and I could tell he was thinking. But I pretended not to notice.

"Ciel…?" I heard him whisper, and he was closer than I thought he was.

I turned to him, eyebrows raised, and then he was kissing me.

My heart pounded in my chest, but I went with my first instinct- to close my eyes and kiss back. It was slow, warm, chaste, full of feelings neither of us could even try to put into words. Our lips moved slowly together, and it was just us. Us and the ocean, the sky, the breeze. Us, in our own little world.

I pulled away from him slowly, though our noses still touched, watching his eyes flutter open and look into mine, his cheeks were flushed. "I…" He stammered for a reason to his actions, he was unbelievably embarrassed.

I smiled, and watched him. "Yes?"

"I… I was thinking about… about how I would be lucky if… if you were my… my… m-my boyfriend…" His face went even redder, though he didn't look away from me.

"Oh?" I took his hand in mine, our fingers intertwined. "I was thinking of how lucky I would be if you would let me be your boyfriend."

He swallowed, still watching me. "You… you still…?"

"Of course." I smiled. "Of course."

And then his hands were on my face and he was kissing me all over again, and I melted into him.

I guess Sebastian just couldn't contain himself when he threw open the door, kicking and squealing, forcing us to jump apart, eyes wide.

He fell to his knees and hugged me tighter than I think he's ever hugged me.

"You two… are so… CUTE!"

**OwOwOwOwO **

**I'm so sorry if this seems rushed, I just… =A= _I _couldn't wait for them to get together! I just couldn't! XD And a lot of time passed, at least two months, before this even happened. They spent a lot of time together as well, so… it _is _plausible, isn't it? XD That's my problem- I can't keep myself from jumping to the sappy fluffy romancy cute kissy harpdedarp. I'm sorry =A=**

**Thank you again for all of your sweet words, I would reply to all of them but… I just… I can't I'll just ramble on and on and start crying =A= Thank you so much, I appreciate all of you! I'm so grateful! **

**Until next time, guys! Love you! **

**-Flightless**


	17. Happiness

**Hey, you guys! Long time no see! We've been in the new house for around two weeks- and to be honest I could have updated sooner. But I was just… so… kljdfpawj I couldn't come up with anything guys D: But here I am! I'm hoping to get this story up and running again! :D I start at my new school on Monday, and I'm so nervous! D: Also, I'd like to say this beforehand: I really, **_**really **_**want to get into a college that needs 28.5/36 ACT score to get in. It is a really tough college to get accepted into, so this year, and my next three years of education I'm going to be studying and doing extra credit all the time to keep my grades up and do well, so that I have a chance, at least. So don't be upset if my updates aren't regular, constant, long, or whatever, because I really have a lot to do. I do plan on finishing this story, though, so I hope you guys can put up with waiting! D: **

**I've been thinking of doing a collab fanfiction with someone… whoever wants to, really. But I don't know who D: If you're interested you can say so in your review… or something… though I don't know how I'll decide D: I may hold a contest… but I don't know what the contest would be! ;; **

**Also I'm open for art trades on dA, whoever wants one. Commissions, too!**

**ENOUGH WITH THE NEWS, LET'S GET ON WITH THE CHAPTER! :D **

**OwOwOwOwOwO **

"Where are we going?"

I looked over at Alois, in the passenger seat. He looked back at me, innocently curious and adorable.

"You'll see." I replied, taking one hand off the wheel to hold his, squeezing his fingers. He quieted down after that, staring out the window at everything we passed. I reveled at how his hand fit so perfectly in mine… like they were meant to be attached at all times, never letting go.

We finally pulled into the parking lot at the mall, and I stepped out to open his door for him. He looked up at the place, eyes wide, as if he had never seen it before. "What are we doing here?" He asked, staring up at the huge building.

I held out my hand to him. "Shopping."

He took it almost a little hesitantly. "Shopping… here?"

"Of course, where would you expect me to take you?"

"I… usually go to Goodwill… or the thrift store… or yard sales…" He blushed and stared at his feet. "Never big places…"

"Well then you should start, shouldn't you?" I started to lead him into the mall. "Anything you like, I'll get it. Alright? Don't be afraid to snatch up anything you want."

"No!" he immediately protested. "No, these places are very expensive! You've already bought glasses for me, you don't need to buy clothes for me!" He tried to tug me out the door again, looking desperate.

"Oh, but I want to." I replied, and managed to get him into the place, which opened with a Macy's. "I want you to wear what you want to, I want you to love the clothes that you have. I want you to be happy."

"I am happy!" He snapped, suddenly defensive. "I'm happy that I at least have enough money for clothes. I'm happy that I could afford these, I love these clothes! They've kept me warm and covered up for at least two years, I'm very happy!" He tugged his hand out of mine, looking at me sternly.

"Of course," I said hastily, softly. "Of course you're happy with them, I'm sorry." I slipped an arm across his shoulders, and pulled him close to me. "I just… I want you to have something… something better… I don't want money to be a problem for you, I want to buy you clothes and glasses and… and anything you want… I care about you." I hadn't realized how meaningful my words, my touches were when they were towards Alois. To Elizabeth, they were meaningless. Affection itself was meaningless. With Alois, though… I could pour my heart out to him and not think any less of myself.

He blushed slightly, and his expression softened, but only a little bit. "I am happy…" He said quietly. "I've always… been grateful…"

"I know." I responded gently. "I know, but please, let me do these things for you. Pick out whatever you like. Please. Anything."

He looked up at me and wrapped his arms around my neck.

"Really… It's no trouble… I want to buy you things…" I said quietly, resting a hand at the small of his back.

"I know." He said back. "I'm sorry I got upset… I'm so used to being looked down on…" He pulled away, looking up at me cautiously.

"I'll never look down on you." I murmured, interlocking our fingers and squeezing them. "You are on a pedestal, to me. A pedestal so tall that people can hardly see you." I pressed a kiss to his temple and he blushed, before I started leading him through the mall.

"I'll take you to the two places where I normally get my clothes- but if you see a store that you like we'll stop." I told him, and almost immediately after I saw his eyes following the entrance to the Hot Topic store. I didn't normally go there, but if he saw something…

I led him into the place and his eyes were as round as saucers, taking in all the clothes, the accessories, everything.

"Over here," I tugged him in the direction of a rack of boys' shorts and shirts, but he didn't seem all that interested. I saw him sneaking glances at the girls' section- the short shorts, off-the-shoulder shirts, high stockings, underwear, necklaces, and backpacks. I eyed him for a moment before placing a hand on his back and pushing him towards the girls' section. "Pick out what you like." I said softly, smiling reassuringly at him when he looked at me.

Within ten minutes I was holding an armful of short shorts –ripped, sparkly and flashy- a variety of different colored graphic tees, ripped shirts, and –of course- off-the-shoulders, an assortment of underwear, handfuls of jewelry and buttons, and a Domo backpack. I had almost convinced myself that I was having another wet-dream.

He seemed a little shocked when he saw the pile in my arms, as if he hadn't realized how much he'd picked out. "Um… you said the ones I liked…" He looked up at me a little meekly. "We can put some of it back…"

"No, no." I insisted. "Now you have more to choose from!" I smiled, and dropped the pile onto the checkout counter. The girl behind it looked stunned for a moment before she came to her senses and started scanning through the things as fast as she could.

Alois almost fainted when he saw the price, but I paid without a problem and even carried the four heaping bags. He was stammering apologies, but I quickly silenced him each time.

The same thing happened in Aeropostale and Abercrombie, but I still wouldn't let him carry the eight bags cutting off the circulation in my arms.

We sat down for lunch in the food court, where I bought Chinese. "You really are the fashion type, aren't you?" I asked, amused.

He blushed, looking down at the dumplings on his plate. "I do like clothes…" He said quietly. "I've been very grateful for what I've had but… whenever I see what the girls have in class, I… I get jealous…" He bit his lip. "And after all that I still didn't know I was gay."

I laughed, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "You are too cute."

He blushed again. I kissed him on the lips.

"Are you so insistent on getting me flustered in public?" He asked, shifting slightly nervously.

I laughed again before stroking his cheek. "Of course."

**OwOwOwOwO **

I drove him back to his house, and helped him hang everything up in his closet. Almost half of the clothes had to be folded and placed on the shelf, though. Afterwards, I convinced him to put on a "fashion show" for me. We spent two hours putting together outfits and commenting on them, and it ended with me pulling him into my arms and cuddling him, there on his bed, kissing his cheeks, his forehead, his lips. He made me so happy, so unbelievably happy, I was so lucky to have him.

He giggled and squirmed and eventually pulled out of my grip, and looked at me. I looked back at him, in his short-shorts and bright pink off the shoulder shirt, topped off with the glasses I had bought for him.

"Ciel?" He sat in my lap, and looked at me, and I held him close.

"Yes?"

"I truly am… happy…"

**OwOwOwOwO **

**Rushed, filler, hate me all you want to. I really had no clue what to do, you guys =A= But at least I've come back alive, ne? And with fluff to boot! Once I get back into this fanfic I'll be able to do better, I suppose. **

**Reviews are lovely! I adore them! I LOVE YOU MY READERS, I DO! **

**Huggles, **

**Emzi**


	18. You Heard Right, Alois is my Boyfriend!

**Hey guys! Long time no see! *sweatdrop* I'm sorry it's been such a long time, school right now is very overwhelming, and I haven't had the relaxed state of mind to sit down and continue this! D: I've been thinking about it, though, and trying to think of how to put together the next chapter. And I miss you guys, and I figured I really needed to update c: (I'm sitting in World History class as I'm writing this o.o shhh, don't tell!) Please enjoy the long awaited chapter 18! :3 **

**OwOwOwOwOwOwOwO **

"What if they don't like me?"

"Then they don't know what they're missing out on."

"What if they make fun of me?"

"Then they don't understand how beautiful you are."

"What if they make fun of you?"

"I can handle it. They don't matter to me." I turned my head from the road to look at Alois, who was gripping the strap of his backpack nervously, biting his lip. He had chosen to wear the _cutest _pair of jean short-shorts (in my opinion at least), with heart-shaped buttons on the back pockets. He was wearing a loose-fitting pink shirt that covered only one shoulder, a purple tank-top strap showing on its naked twin, and his lashes were expertly curled with mascara, his cheeks alight with their natural blush. I brushed a lock of white-blonde hair behind his ear, before returning my hand to the wheel and my eyes on the road. "You'll be okay." I assured him. "You have me."

"Yes…" He responded quietly, looking down at his toes, hidden in neon-pink converse.

"It'll be fine, it's not like you've never been to this school before."

"I've never been to this school as your boyfriend." He pointed out.

"No, but the difference this time should only be in your favor."

He smiled slightly, and rested his head on my shoulder. "Of course it is, this is much better." He said quietly. "I'm not alone this time."

"You'll never be alone again." I took one hand from the steering wheel to hold his fingers, which were trembling slightly. "Don't be nervous. You're sweet, and beautiful, and whoever can't see that must be blind."

"The whole world is blind." He said dejectedly.

"The whole world except for me."

He squeezed my hand. "Thank you."

The rest of our drive to school was short, and silent. I stepped out of Sebastian's Cadillac and walked to the passenger side, opening Alois' door before holding my hand out to him. "You'll be alright." I promised. "Everything will be okay."

He looked up at me hesitantly before complying and taking my hand, standing up out of the car. People were already staring.

I closed the car door and took his bag, interlocking our fingers before leading him into the school.

Of course we had all the same classes. Being rich has its benefits, especially when the school secretary is paid minimum wage.

I held the door open for Alois, smiling encouragingly at him. "You look amazing."

He allowed a nervous smile in return, standing close to my side, gripping my fingers tightly. I led him through the halls toward our first class, amidst the whispers of other students.

"_Is that _Macken?_" _

"_No, it can't be! He looks like a girl!" _

I looked to Alois, and saw he was blushing.

"_He's holding hands with Ciel!" _

"_Does he think he has some sort of special privilege? A lowlife like him?" _

"_Yeah! He can't touch our Ciel!" _

I raised an eyebrow. _Our _Ciel? I belonged to no one but the boy holding my hand.

"Hey Macken! You know those are girls' clothes, right?" Someone shouted. I turned and glared sharply at him, scowling. The boy quickly backed away. Gay or not, I still had a place of power at this school.

After that, people didn't speak up. But they still whispered until Alois and I disappeared into our Economics class. I pulled out his chair for him and he sat down, taking his bag from my hands as I sat down next to him.

"They don't like me…" He said quietly. "They don't…"

"No, no," I soothed him. "They just… they don't _know _you yet, they're just being judgmental as usual."

He bit his lip. "I guess…"

"Hey," I leaned in close to him, close enough that I could see the wetness barely forming in his eyes. "What happened to strong Alois? The Alois I know? He wouldn't get all worked up over something like this." I kissed the bridge of his nose gently.

He blushed. "I…"

"I think you're beautiful. I love your clothes, and I love _you_. You don't have any reason to be ashamed, or nervous, or afraid." I kissed along his nose, up to his forehead.

"I know, I…" He glanced nervously at our classmates filing in. "I don't know, I… I just thought I had a chance to be accepted…"

"They'll like you, once they take the time to know you." I replied softly, touching his cheek to make him look at me. "I'll make sure they like you. I'll make sure they accept you. You won't be alone anymore. Everything is going to be okay." I smiled reassuringly at him.

He buried his face in my shoulder from where he sat, and linked his hands behind my back. I rubbed the spot between his shoulder blades soothingly, pushing him gently back down into his seat. "You're alright. You'll always be alright." I smiled and kissed his forehead, just as the bell rang and our teacher, Mr. Druitt, strode in.

I cringed.

Oh no.

Not… _him!_

Mr. Druitt had taught at least one of my classes every year; he always moved up a grade level to teach a class in that grade – and he'd been doing it to me for as long as I could remember!

"Ciel? Are you alright?" Alois asked quietly, resting a hand on my arm. "You went pale all of a sudden."

"Fine," I dismissed his prying. "It's fine, I just… never mind." I shook my head. Sure Mr. Druitt was creepy, but he'd been creepy ever since he started teaching me, it's not like anything was different now, in my senior year of high school.

"I'm going to call attendance!" He announced to the class, lounging back in his chair behind his desk. He marked off the names of everyone he called, sounding bored. But then he called my name, and the look he gave me was as creepy as all get-out.

"_Ciel Phantomhive," _he cooed.

_Oh hell. _"Present." I swallowed, hiding my distaste.

He gave me another astonishingly creepy look before going back to calling the other names.

He had seemed slightly interested in Alois too, to which I had full out glared at him, and he quickly backed down.

The entirety of the class was only Mr. Druitt going over the rules of his classroom, as did every teacher on the first day of school. Alois and I held hands under our desks.

When the bell rang signaling the end of class, Mr. Druitt attempted to wave goodbye at the class, but ended up making it painfully obvious just _who _he was really waving to. I ignored him, shifting Alois' Abercrombie book bag onto my shoulder, and leading my boyfriend out of the classroom.

The rest of the day was much the same – but with slightly less creepy. People whispered about us in the halls, teachers were boring, there was nothing to do. Lunch was when the day actually improved. I had a crowd of my usual friends sitting around me at the lunch table, and Alois was at my side, obviously extremely flustered with all the attention.

"You've got a boyfriend? _Alois_ is your boyfriend?" someone asked.

"Yes, he is." I smiled.

"But dude, you, like, hated him! What happened over the summer?"

I laughed. "Maybe that's for us to know and you to never find out!"

"Oooh," Joel waggled his eyebrows. "Get lucky?"

I shoved him, grinning. "It wasn't like that."

"Well, I think it was very brave of you to come walking into the school holding hands with your chin up. You don't care what anyone thinks do you?" Victor asked.

"Not 'anyone'," I corrected. "Just the people that don't matter."

Alois was blushing, and looking up at everyone like a lost puppy. Why was he so cute?

"But to answer everyone's questions, I _am _gay, and Alois is my boyfriend, and that's as simple as it gets." I said defiantly, turning away from their eager faces to look at Alois, who was picking at the lunch I had bought him – a full, colorful salad. He said he'd always wanted to try something with a lot of bright colors, like salad, so I had willingly bought it for him.

"Do you not like it?" I asked him gently. "I'll get you something else, it's no trouble."

"N-no," He said in an extremely soft voice, glancing nervously at the group of people behind me, watching us. "I-I just…"

I turned to the crowd. "Step back, people, personal space please. The precious boyfriend does not need an audience." I smirked at them to let them know I was teasing them, and they only threw joking insults back before leaving the table to sit amongst themselves.

Alois looked as if he had had a huge weight lifted off his shoulders. "T-thanks…" He murmured.

I smiled. "You're welcome." I kissed the top of his head, resting an arm across his shoulders to pull him close next to me, and he started on his salad.

"It's not so bad anymore, is it?" I asked him softly.

He shook his head. "No, not with you."

I smiled. "Good." I watched him eat, not wanting to tear myself away from his image to eat my own food. He was so cute, and the way he ate was so dainty, he almost _could _be a girl. I laughed to myself at the thought, and nuzzled into the crook of his neck, taking in his scent.

I felt his cheeks go hot. "People are looking." He said quietly, but made no move to pull himself away.

"That's fine." I said. "Let them look." I closed my eyes, content to simply sit, and smell, and feel.

"You're clingy." He accused.

"You're cling-able."

He sighed, and finished his salad. "That was really good…" He said quietly. "I've never had a salad like that…"

I chuckled at him. "This is _school cafeteria _salad. I need to take you out for dinner or something."

"That would be nice." He replied. "I've always wanted to try French food…"

"I know the perfect place." I smiled. "How about Friday? I'll pick you up."

He grinned, and wrapped his arms around my neck. "It's a date!" he giggled.

"A date." I agreed, kissing the place between his eyes.

**OwOwOwOwOwO **

The rest of the day had gone rather smoothly, and shortly after lunch we were in Sebastian's car, heading back to my house.

"I made a friend!" He exclaimed happily once we were seated in my living room. "A real friend!" He was practically jumping on top of me with the excitement on the couch.

"I know, I know!" I laughed. "I was there!"

"His name is Vincent! That's his name!" He was pretty much in my lap at this point, holding onto the front of my shirt.

I grinned at him. "I know his name already, silly." It still somewhat shocked me that Alois' new friend had the same name as my late father. No matter. It wasn't a big deal.

"We're going to have parties! And… and we can hang out! And I'll see him in school!"

"You're going to kill me! Calm down and keep still!" I gripped his arms, trying to hold him down in a sitting position.

He giggled. "I'm sorry, I'm just so happy! A real friend!"

I only shook my head. "I'm being replaced, I see how it is."

"No, no, that's not how it is at all!" He moved in closer to me. "You'll always be my _bestest _friend."

"I don't think friends kiss, Alois."

"That's why you're my _bestest _friend."

"I don't think even "bestest" friends kiss."

"Well…"

"I'm your _boyfriend._ Boyfriends kiss."

He only scoffed. "Don't just brush off my smartness! You just disagree because you know I'm right!"

"Right about _what_?"

"Everything!"

"Oh? Then if we're only best friends, then, you have to get off my lap." I raised my eyebrows expectantly.

He puffed up, like a bird would. "Fine, we can be _boyfriends._" He folded his arms. "But I get to be the top boyfriend."

"I don't think so."

He looked at me with an expression of mock-sternness. "But I want to be."

I raised an eyebrow, my hands winding around his waist. "I really don't think that would work. And aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself? We've hardly been together a month now."

He blushed. "Well… just because we're not that far in yet doesn't mean I can't have fantasies!" he clapped a hand over his mouth after the last, rushed part.

I smirked. "Oh? Fantasies? What happens in these little fantasies of yours, hm?" I leaned in close, so our noses touched, the smirk still prominent on my face.

"Oh… well… I was just kidding about that, um…" He blushed even redder.

"If you were only joking, why are you so embarrassed?"

He tried to push me away, but failed miserably. "You're not that strong, are you?" I commented.

"Shut up!" He huffed, but I cut him off with a kiss. He struggled stubbornly for a moment, before finally giving in, his hands resting on my shoulders. Our lips moved gently together, and I watched his eyes close before I closed my own. We kissed for a long time, the only noises being our soft, hesitant breaths, and our lips parting before delving into another kiss. His arms went around my neck, his fingers tangled in my hair. My hands followed the curve of his waist, resting softly at the small of his back, holding him to me. He tasted so good, he _felt _so good, this whole ordeal was just… _good_… I wanted it to last forev-

"Ahem," we broke apart instantly, faces flushed and lips red. I looked up to see Sebastian standing in the doorway, holding the plate of cookies and milk I had asked him to make for us. I tried to smile at him, but failed.

He set the food down on the coffee table before us, before patting my head. "Try not to grow up too fast, okay?"

I looked down slightly ashamedly at my toes, hearing his footsteps quiet and then disappear as he ran off to do whatever Sebastians do when their son was just caught in a heated kiss with his boyfriend.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair before turning to Alois next to me, who had jumped from my lap to sit on the couch. I held the plate out to him, and smiled weakly. "Cookie?"

**OwOwOwOwOwO **

**Aww, Sebby, he doesn't want his little boy growing up! D: This was a really long one! 2500 words! I FEEL ACCOMPLISHED. Of course I wrote a lot of it during different classes in school XDD I finished it at home though c: Here it is everyone! I hope you like it! I'm off to do my long-put-off homework! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH LAKJDPFJALFJKS **

**Huggles, **

**Emzi**


	19. When Things Took a Turn for the Worse

**Ohoho! Back so soon! :D That's the loveable Emzi, back on track! *trololol* Not much to say c: I'm sitting in opt time class and I'm ready to pass out… or something… *sigh* BUT I AM USING MY LAST FEEBLE BRAIN ENERGIES TO ENTERTAIN YOU, YES YOU! :D Enjoy chapter 19! I LOVE ALL Y'ALLS KLFJASLFKDSJ **

**OwOwowOwOwOwOwO **

The next few days passed smoothly, and Alois slowly started to separate from me to meet other people. He was hardly as nervous as he had been the first day, and he had a small group of friends, now. I was happy for him.

However, I noticed that there were still some people that detested him, Elizabeth being one of them for obvious reasons. The rest of the 'haters' were people I didn't recognize, people who probably had something against him just because they had nothing better to do with their pathetic lives. They hadn't done anything to him yet, so I was going to leave them alone for now.

Friday rolled around and Alois was jumping up and down on his porch in excitement to meet me, Thompson wagging his tail at his master's side.

"We're going on a date today!" He called out as he skipped up to the car, leaning through the driver's side window to kiss my cheek.

"Yes, we are." I said in return, smiling slightly at him. Today he was wearing skin-tight skinny jeans that hugged his hips, a black My Chemical Romance T-shirt that was loose-fitting on him, and the same neon pink converse.

He hopped up and down giddily and ran to the passenger side, slipping into the seat beside me. Thompson gave a bark of farewell before deftly opening the back gate with his paws and slipping into the yard. "That is one smart dog." I commented, astonished.

"He's been doing that ever since he could reach the latch." Alois explained proudly. "He's a good dog though."

I smiled. "You're lucky. You had a dog like that looking out for you." I pulled away from Alois' house, starting down the familiar road to school.

"He still looks out for me, when I'm at home by myself. And even when I'm sleeping." He toyed with the Pikachu keychain on his red plaid backpack. He'd been switching through all the bags I'd bought him. "If I leave him outside, he whines and keeps me awake until I let him in… he sleeps next to me, on my bed. He watches me. He makes sure I'm safe."

"Hope you have two spots for that position." I smiled at him, eyebrows raised, and he blushed slightly.

"Maybe." He replied, purposefully avoiding my gaze by looking out the window. "Maybe…"

I returned my gaze onto the road, turning on the radio to the sound of Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call me Maybe." I groaned. "I don't even know how many times I've heard this song."

"Canterbury showed it to me yesterday." Alois spoke up. "He has it on his iPod. I really like it."

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. "Isn't he gay, too?"

"He came out the day after we did."

"Hm."

"Timber didn't seem very happy about it." He watched the trees fly by out the window, nibbling on his pinkie finger.

"I suppose he was too afraid to at first."

"Yeah. I think seeing us made him braver…"

"Yes, but I've seen more people picking on him than us." My forehead creased. I didn't really like Canterbury all that much, to be honest. I had been told by Alois that the two of them were "best friends" now. I was still skeptical about this – who makes their best friend in the course of four days?

"That's because I have you, and he doesn't have anyone yet." He rested his hand on top of mine, his slim fingers were smooth and warm.

"You're exceptionally cheery today."

"Eh? I hadn't noticed a difference." He toyed with my fingers absently.

"You're not normally so… bouncy."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Oh, no!" I glanced at him, shaking my head. "It's just… new is all."

"We're going on our first date tonight! Of course I'm happy!"

"You went on vacation with me…"

"Yes but we weren't _boyfriends_ yet. That doesn't count."

I smirked, pulling into the school parking lot and stepping out to open Alois' door for him, taking his bag. As per usual, we walked into the school hand in hand. The whispers of our peers had died down for the most part, now it was only the 'haters' who gossiped behind our backs.

We sat down in Economics class, greeted by the ever-so-pedo Mr. Druitt, and promptly zoned out to the boring drone of the teacher. I was beginning to regret signing up for this class.

About halfway into the class, Alois left to go to the restroom. I didn't think anything of it, just squeezed his hand before he stood to leave.

Minutes went by. I hadn't even thought about his absence until I heard the scream. It was horrible, I didn't think I'd ever heard it before. Even so, I knew who it was.

I jumped up, knocking my chair aside and practically falling out of the classroom. I heard the cries, the pleas of, "stop! No, leave me alone!" and I felt like ripping myself apart for not being able to find where they came from.

Finally I turned a sharp corner and saw Alois, flat on his back, someone kneeling over him pressing their knees to his arms and their backside to his chest, holding him down firmly. I saw the glint of the knife, the red on the floor, and I reacted instantly. I pulled the boy by his hair off of Alois, pulling my right fist back and forcing it with as much strength as I could into the kid's jaw, causing a resounding crack to split the air and sending the boy flying. Breathing heavily, staring down at his unconscious body, I kneeled beside Alois, who was still writhing with the pain.

"It's okay," I tried to soothe him, but to no success. He was clutching his wrist, and I gently pried it from his grip to examine whatever wounds had been placed there.

Carved into his skin were the bleeding, jagged words, _"DIE FAG" _

**OwOwOwOwOwO **

**Why? Because this story got too fluffy and y'all need some depression in yo' lives. **

**I'd love to hear your thoughts ;3 **

**Huggles, **

**Emzi**


	20. I Love You

**FOUR AM WHAT DID I TELL YOU MY DEVIANTART BUDDIES. WHAT DID I TELL YOU. I really wanted to update today because IT'S FRIDAY! :D I and because updates are fun c: I have several other things to work on, (art-trade/ficlet-trade with rusty-flower and collab with blockworld) and I am working on them! :D They are in progress! :D So while you wait, enjoy this little thingy mathingy! :D **

**OwOwOwOwOwOwOwO **

We had had to take Alois to the hospital, to make sure vital arteries hadn't been slit and that his cuts hadn't been infected in any way. I had sat next to him through the ambulance ride (where he went unconscious) because really, I was the only one there for him.

He was wheeled into the emergency room for examination. They checked his heart rate, his vitals, and made sure he hadn't gotten an infection. Fortunately, the cut in his vein wasn't as deep as it could have been, and it only took a little patching up before he was as good as new.

But they said he would have the scars for several weeks.

I sat next to his unconscious form in the hospital bed, watching him sleep. My fingers graced over the soft skin of his face, running through his silky, white-blonde hair. Beautiful Alois… _my _beautiful Alois…

His eyes fluttered open finally. He looked groggy and confused, blinking up at the white ceiling above him. He lifted his own hand to the one I held to the side of his face, his fingers brushing mine, before turning his head to look at me and I smiled slightly.

"How do you feel?" I asked gently.

The response was a pillow in my face. "Get out of here!" Alois sat up, glaring daggers at me.

I blinked, surprised. "A-Alois?"

"Get out! What do you think you're doing? Do you think I'd want you here? After… after you…" He glanced at his wrist.

"Alois, what are you talking about?" I reached a hand out to touch him, but he hastily flinched away. "What's wrong?"

"YOU!" He tried to push me as far away from him as he could. "You're what's wrong with me!"

I stared at him. What was wrong? What had happened?

A nurse was at my side in a moment, calming Alois down. "Please quiet down, we'll remove him immediately." She assured him, and he looked over her shoulder to glare at me.

"I thought I really meant something to you."

I looked at him, astounded. Where was all of this coming from? The nurse hastily rushed me out into the hallway, before spinning me around to look at her. She had large, circular glasses and red-violet hair – an interesting color. When I looked more closely, I noticed that one of her lenses had a thin crack down the center.

"Listen, we were only going to tell you if this actually happened…" She said calmly and quietly, her eyes slightly nervous.

Fear immediately shot through me. "Tell me _what_?" I asked urgently. "_What is wrong with my boyfriend?_"

She looked at me, hesitating slightly before she said, "The event seemed to be extremely traumatizing for him… more so than we had expected it to be…" She looked up at me almost guiltily. "His brain has altered the memory to change it into something that made sense to him…"

"_How _could that make sense?" I spluttered. "That I carved such horrible things into his skin? How could that-" I stopped. _Make sense._ Something that made sense.

Thinking that _I_ had carved "die fag" on his wrist made _sense _to him!

I bit my lip. Had I really been that horrible? In the past… had I been so mean that he could have believed that _I _had stuck a knife in his wrist?

And he still thought that now? In our relationship… was he afraid that I would hurt him? That everything was a big joke?

Obviously, he had.

The nurse looked at me, pushing her cracked glasses farther up on her nose. "Are you alright, sir?"

I blinked at her. I felt dizzy. "Fine," I said, feeling my voice tremble in my throat. "I'm fine…" I rubbed my eyes. _It made sense._ "I just…" I staggered, and she moved to catch me if I fell. "Can I just talk to him…?"

The nurse looked at me, and then the hospital door behind which Alois was held. "As long as things don't get… violent…" She said, and then stepped back so I could enter.

I swallowed, resting my hand on the door handle and pushing it open. "Alois?"

He jerked his head up. "What do you want from me? You don't care about me."

I shut the door silently behind me. "I do care about you."

"No you don't."

"I didn't cut you."

"Yes you did. I remember it."

I stepped cautiously further into the room, and the blonde flinched. I stopped. "I would never do that to you."

"Yes you did, you asked me out and it was all just a joke, so you could get closer to me, so you could _hurt _me!"

"No!"

"Yes! It was! You don't need to lie to me, after I've figured everything out already!"

"_Listen _to me," I sat beside his bed, looking him straight in the eye. "Just _listen _to me."

"Why should I listen to you? You are the devil; you are the Father of Lies."

That one struck me right through the heart. Alois… how could he say that? "_Because_," I insisted. "Your mind has changed what _really _happened into something that would make sense to you," I kneeled beside the bed, so I could be closer to him. "I didn't do it. I know I did mean, horrible things in the past to you, Alois. I realize that, I _know _that. But now… don't you remember me talking to you? I've changed, Alois, you've changed me. I could _never _be the Ciel Phantomhive I am today if you had never been in my life." I reached out to take his hand, but he still flinched away.

"Don't touch me."

"Alois, please…"

"Don't _touch _me."

My hand froze and came to rest on the bed, next to his own. "Alois, you have to believe me." I looked him straight in those aquamarine eyes. "I _love _you."

He was frozen, he stared at me. _Love_. I'd never even thought I'd speak that word since my parents died, and yet here I was, saying it to the boy I liked – no – _loved _more than anything else in this world.

"Y-you…"

"I love you." I repeated. "Alois, you are my _life_."

He looked at me for a long time; such a long time that I thought I might've convinced him.

"Ciel…" He seemed conflicted, biting his lip nervously. "I… I l-love you too…"

My eyes widened, I leaned in to kiss him, but he dodged it. "Ciel, I love you too, but… but I don't know if I want to trust you or not… I don't… I don't _know_… just…" he closed his eyes and sighed. "Stay with me."

"I will always be by your side. I will always protect you."

The blonde nodded. "But Ciel?"

I inclined my head.

"Don't touch me. Ever again."

**OwOwOwOwOwOwO **

**Psh, because it's fun to give Alois brain problems. (As if he hasn't got enough of them… ) But yes, more TENSION. Alois is unsure about this, he doesn't quite know what to make of it. And know that he's been repeatedly physically harassed, he has a touching problem. How cute! Poor Ciel. Poor fangirls. "does this mean no lemon?" well there wasn't going to be one in the first place but… sure, along those lines! This means that making out with extra tongue must be postponed! D: **

**Anywho, I hope you enjoyed the glorious CHAPTER TWENTY *dance party* **

**I would love to hear your thoughts! **

**Huggles, **

**Emzi**


	21. The Way Things Were

**Hey you guys :3 I don't know if I'll be updating as frequently anymore – I'm going through a problem right now… It's minor at the moment, and I don't feel the need to tell you about it unless it becomes serious. I hope to get rid of it before it gets bad, but… I'm not sure. So just bear with me, okay? c: And enjoy chapter 21 :D **

**OwOwOwOwOwOwO**

I stayed with Alois all Friday, watching him, talking to him, taking care of anything he needed. He didn't seem very eager to have me there, though, to my disappointment. Something had changed, he didn't _trust _me.

Canterbury arrived once school was over with, and Alois seemed very excited to have him there. They talked, Alois laughed. I couldn't help but feel jealous. I sat and watched for a moment, before stepping out to get something to eat.

When I came back, Canterbury was gone, to my relief. Alois was leaning against his pillow, smiling slightly to himself, happy.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" I asked gently.

"No." He shook his head, without looking at me.

I bit my lip. "I would never hurt you."

"But you have before."

"That's just it, Alois, _before_!" I sat down next to him, leaning forwards. "Before, Alois, before I knew I loved you."

He still didn't look at me, lifting his pinkie finger to his lips and nibbling on it.

"Alois, I _love _you!" I took his hand, drawing it away from his mouth, and he flinched, trying to tug it away from me, but I held on. "You can't keep thinking that I did this to you!" I held up his hand so he could see the bandages. "I would _never _do this to you! Not ever!"

He looked pained, and still tried to wrench his hand away, but I only gripped the fingers tighter. "_Alois_." I pressed, leaning closer to him. "_I love you_." Our noses were inches apart; I could feel his frantic breaths on my face. "Nothing, _nothing _could change that."

He blushed slightly, and finally his hand was motionless, but he still looked stressed.

I brushed my lips over his, and he winced away. I frowned. "What's wrong? Why don't you trust me?" I lifted my free hand to hold the side of his face. "Why won't you let me kiss you?"

"I don't…" he murmured. "I don't want to be touched." He moved his hand feebly in mine again, trying to pull away, but I still didn't let him. "He… _you_… pressed me d-down… I couldn't breathe, I…" he stumbled slightly with his words, and I saw a tear run down his cheek. I quickly wiped it away with my free hand. I didn't want to see him cry.

"I can't… I feel like… like I can't breathe again…" this time when he tried to tug his hand away, I let him.

"I'm sorry, Alois…" I said quietly. "I'm sorry I didn't come in time, I'm sorry I couldn't stop him…" I looked at him and I hoped to God he could tell that I was telling the truth. "I heard you scream and I _ran, _Alois… I _had _to get to you and still I… I couldn't before he…" my eyes moved to his bandages. "I love you so much, I wanted to do all I could to protect you and if I could have taken those scars on my wrist for you, I would have."

More tears dripped from his cheeks, but I brushed each one away with the tips of my fingers. "I'm serious, Alois, I've never been more serious in my life."

He looked down at his lap, blinking furiously to force the tears back, but they didn't stop coming. He finally looked up at me, and lifted a dainty, fragile hand to the side of my face. He didn't say anything, but I knew what the gesture meant. He believed me, he loved me, but things were still different.

I closed my eyes and let his hand warm my cheek, leaning forwards so our foreheads just barely touched. "I'll make things okay for you again." I promised. "I'll make sure you stay safe."

He tilted his chin forwards and let our lips meet gently, not rushed or needy. Hesitant, timid, like most other kisses we'd shared. I let him kiss me, and I kissed him back, just as softly, just as gently. When finally he pulled away, he buried his face in my shoulder, his fingers clenching around the fabric of my shirt. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close to me, kissing the top of his head before resting my cheek lightly on it.

"You'll be alright." I promised. "You don't ever have to be afraid of me. I'll keep you safe."

"I want to believe that…" He whispered back. "I _need_ to believe that…"

I rocked him back and forth gently, listening to his voice fade away until the only noise in the room was the sound of light, September wind knocking branches against the window. I hoped that things could go back to the way they were. But I knew they wouldn't.

**OwOwOwOwOwO**

**Sorry for the short chapter, you guys… I just wanted to put **_**something **_** up and I didn't know when I'd get the chance to update again, so… yeah :3 I'd love to hear your thoughts! **

**Huggles, **

**Emzi**


	22. Announcement

**Hey guys. **

**I'm afraid I don't bring happy news. **

**I think I'm going to discontinue this fanfic. **

**As I started to drift away, no one worked to keep me in it, keep me interested, any of that. I feel like as I lost interest, there was no one there to bring that interest back... and my weekends were spent staying up late waiting for RP responses and replies for me that would never come, and so... I started to not expect them anymore... it wasn't fun anymore, I didn't enjoy it... and since my involvement in the fandom decreased, I decided that leaving would be easier. **

**If my parents, if anyone else, really found out about it, they would be so ashamed of me... I don't think I could live with that... I mean not that anyone would find out, but I have to think... what if they did? **

**I didn't want to disappoint you guys. _Trust me I didn't. _I gave a lot of thought to this desicion, I spent months thinking on it, I really did. But now that my interest has decreased... I felt it would be easier to shut down those areas of my life. I never had inspiration to write, I had RP partners leave or ignore me and so... I just slowly had less and less involvement until I realized that staying involved in it wouldn't be good for me. **

**I'm sorry, I really am sorry. I want to tell you how grateful I am for all of your support in this, really, thank you. I could never made it as far as I did without you, and _never _did I expect to get so much story traffic and reviews, and so much support and love. I love all of you, so much, I don't know what I could have done without you. And it hurts me to leave you hanging like this, and let you down but... this has been extremely hard for me, and I still don't know if what I'm doing is right for me, I'm so confused and conflicted... Maybe I'll come back, but... I'm not sure, you guys. I might end up taking down my stories and shutting down my fanfiction account. You can still stay updated with me on deviantART, my name is Flightless503, same as here, if you don't hate my guts for this... **

**Maybe I'll come back to this story... maybe not... but either way, you can always get in touch with me, if you want to talk, or anything. I'll always listen and I'll always reply. I care about all of you, and I love all of you, and I'm sorry I have to do this but... I don't know what my other option is, and I'm not sure I want to find out. **

**Thank you for sticking with me this whole time, and being there for me, and always supporting me. But I think this is where these things come to an end. **

**I love you. **

**-Emzi**


	23. -The Return of Flightless-

**Hey you guys… it's really been long time no see, hasn't it? But I'm here, I'm back. I've got three chapters here for you that I've been working hard on writing for the past week and a half or so. My original plan was to finish this story and upload it all today, but school and life just… got in the way. Life has been unbearably difficult for me lately, some days I feel like I just want to sleep and never wake up, I just want to vanish. I'm going through a lot, but I figured that finishing this for you, and having your support with me will really help. Because I really love you guys; I want to make you happy and the things you say to me are so sweet, and they make me feel so much better. I want to thank you so much for sticking with me and just… being there for me. Thank you, really. **

**Do you guys know what today is? A year ago today the first chapter of this story was posted C: it's hard to believe that I've been going with this for so long! It seems like just yesterday… but so much has happened since then! So happy One Year, guys :3 I love you all so much! **

**I hope you enjoy this chunk of writing and fluff I've written for all of you – I'm happy to be back, and you can expect much, much more where this came from. I love you all! **

**OwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwO**

Alois spent the night at the hospital. I was able to convince the nurse to let me stay with him, since he had no one else. She allowed me, with only a short comment telling me that I would "not tell the doctor".

Alois' father never called. I watched the door, waiting to see if he'd called, or at least come to see his son. Nothing. They'd even called the house to let him know and still: nothing.

At least I could have been there, though. I was happy that Alois wouldn't be alone.

"Go get your clothes; you can have the hospital bed,"

"Are you insane?" I shook my head at the blonde's foolishness. "You're not in the hospital to sleep on an armchair. And I'm not leaving you."

"Don't stay for my sake, you don't even have to stay the night, I don't want to force you,"

"You're _not_ forcing me. I want to be here. Now hush, what do you want for dinner?" I pushed the cafeteria menu in front of his face for the tenth time. "Pick something, before I pick it for you."

His lips pursed, and he folded his arms. I could tell this argument wasn't over yet. "I don't know, pick for me then." He said, glancing at me sharply before looking away.

"You're not here to give up your bed, you're here to rest and get better," I informed him. "And you'd better be well by tomorrow; you have a date to make up for." I pressed my lips to his temple, and he blushed lightly. "Unless you want to count this as a date, which I don't."

"Fish and chips."

"What?"

"I want the fish and chips," he pointed to the words on the menu. "With vinegar."

I looked at him for a minute, and he waited before meeting my eyes. "Okay," I said softly, "the fish and chips."

I sat by Alois' bed, watching him eat. He had insisted I eat something, but I refused; content to simply watch him enjoy his own dinner. He ate like a bird, in that dainty way that was unique only to him.

When he had finished about half of the meal, he sat back against his pillow, and sighed. I moved the tray from his lap to the bedside table, before turning back to him.

"No one's taken care of me like this before… like you have." He said quietly. "I've never felt so cared for…"

I blinked at this statement, momentarily confused, before taking one of his hands and squeezing it, a little hesitantly in case he pulled away. "I'm happy to. I don't know how I'd rather spend a Friday night." I almost pulled away in surprise as the blonde giggled at my words and wrapped his arms around my neck. It was a sudden move, and wasn't one I was expecting considering his previous behavior towards me. Regardless, my own arms found their way around his waist.

"You'd rather be out for French though."

"Not if I didn't have you with me. That's the whole reason I booked the restaurant, you know, for you. For what you wanted." Becoming bold, I pressed my lips to a spot just behind his ear, kissing there gently a few times to see his reaction. "All for you." He moved closer to me, and I tightened my hold around his waist, tickling the base of his neck with my lips. He shivered slightly with the intimate touch and hid his face in my shoulder, his fingers tightening around the fabric of my shirt as he tensed, before finally relaxing when I stopped, not wanting to overwhelm him.

I nuzzled into his warm neck, feeling the slightly quickened pulse beneath the skin, and sighed. He responded by kissing the side of my head softly, and pressing himself further into my arms.

"Sleep next to me," he said quietly, tugging at my neck to coax me next to him. "You're warm, I don't want to sleep without you. You don't even have to change, just lay, next to me…"

I looked at him, almost dumbfounded. Wasn't it just this afternoon that he had recoiled in fright at my hand even touching his face? But now… he wanted me next to him as he fell asleep, he _trusted _me. My Alois had gone through so many changes today, so much trauma. But I looked at him gently, sincerely, and his eyes were innocent, wide, and such a beautiful hue of crystal blue. "Of course," I replied softly, after a moment's pause. "Of course, I'll lay next to you." I slipped under the blanket, nervous and hesitant and eager all at once, pulling it up over his shoulders before settling in myself. He moved close next to me, hiding his face in my chest. I wrapped my arms around him soothingly while our legs tangled together under the blankets. I knew he felt my heart beating just a little bit faster – I was being allowed entry across boundaries I had begun to think I'd never be able to cross.

"I thought you didn't want me to touch you ever again." I said quietly, stroking the back of his head and running my fingers through his platinum blonde hair, beginning to relax and close my eyes.

"I changed my mind." He replied, nuzzling into my chest, closer. "_Only_ you can touch me. No one else is allowed to."

"No," I answered. He probably didn't realize how happy this sentence made me – or maybe he did. I smiled. "_No one_ else is allowed to. And if they do, they'll have to answer to me."

He giggled, that adorable, happy giggle, and I held him tighter. "You're so warm," he said softly, his small hands holding tight to the fabric of my shirt where he clung. "I could lay here forever, just with you, always."

"As I could with you." I said quietly, kissing the top of his head gently. "I want to be with you forever. I want to spend every night next to you."

"Please, please don't ever spend a night where you're not at my side," he whispered.

"I wouldn't dream of it," I said back, just as quietly, so thankful for this chance he'd given me, so thankful that _my _Alois was back. My darling, my angel, was here in my arms. We were quiet, the only sounds were our even breathing and steady heartbeats – two lovers entwined.

I felt his breathing slow as he slowly drifted off next to me, peaceful and no longer full of pain. My fingers trailed idly through soft blonde hair; my lips wandered gently across his neck, ear, face, and head in short, fleeting, loving kisses. This was mine, this boy was mine to hold forever, to fall asleep next to, to love.

"Alois, my angel," I whispered, holding his sleeping form close, "I love you."

**OwOwOwOwOwOwOwO**


	24. Ciel's Animalistic Desire

I awoke to soft lips pressed against my neck.

My eyes slowly opened, an arm still around Alois' waist, and noticed how closely he was pressed against me, his mouth forming small kisses on the side of my neck.

I reacted instantly, tightening the hold I had around his waist and leaning close to him, letting him continue. "What are you doing?" I asked him softly, grinning.

"Experimenting," he replied absentmindedly, making his way along my neck.

"Well, how about I take over this experiment?" I chuckled and pushed him back from my skin, causing him to gasp softly. I assumed the role he had tried so diligently to play, leaning into him and kissing just under his jaw, tasting his skin. He continued to gasp quietly with each kiss I placed, as though he was surprised at the sensation.

I slowly traversed down his neck, nibbling along the base of it and tickling his collarbone. I didn't dare go further, but the speed at which I kissed him increased. He was tense, and I could feel the pulse racing beneath his smooth, soft skin, which just made me want to kiss him faster.

He took the hand with which I wasn't using to support myself above him and slid it down his waist to hold his hip. I almost melted against him, feeling the seductive curve of his side. I ran my hand up and down his smooth, curved body and he moved his hands to my face, pulling my mouth to his.

I kissed him hard, and he wound his arms around my neck as I leaned into him further, my hand stopping to rest warmly on his hip again. I dared to bite at his lower lip, and opened my eyes to look at him. He looked back at me, breathing hard, his crystal eyes full of trust. He lowered his eyelids and leaned into another kiss, this one with open lips.

I kissed him back, open mouthed, and gently slipped my tongue past his lips. The quietest, softest of moans floated through my ears and he gripped me tighter. I felt myself almost growl against him, and I pulled my face away, breathing hard. If I didn't stop here, I didn't know what I would end up doing, how far I would push things. An almost animalistic desire came over me at the sight of his flushed face and red lips, his heaving chest, and glazed eyes. I couldn't resist leaning into the crook of his neck and taking the flesh into my mouth, sucking and kissing and biting. He let out a small cry and gripped my shoulders hard. When I pulled away, a dark purple mark was tattooed on his skin.

"C-Ciel, did you just," he broke off, gasping, but I only nuzzled into his neck, running my hand up from his hip to his waist and resting on my side next to him. He lifted a hand to the base of his neck, feeling the sore spot I had planted there, and looked at me. I looked back at him, waiting for a reaction. When I didn't get one, I leaned close to his neck and placed a few more soft kisses against the skin, breathing in his sweet, excited scent.

"You marked me…" he said softly, and I felt his arms around my neck once more as he settled with my nose against the skin just below his jaw. I felt again the soft, rough growl at the back of my throat, but muffled it against him. He shuddered. "Ciel, you…" he held my face against his neck, resting his cheek against the top of my head. "You drive me crazy."

I chuckled at this, closing my eyes and letting him hold me there, wound around him, in the hospital bed. "Then I must be doing a pretty good job at this boyfriend thing, hm?" my breath was hot on his skin; I felt his pulse race at the intimacy and his arms hold me tighter.

"Oh Ciel," he practically whispered, "you have _no _idea…" he shivered again in anticipation.

I growled a bit louder, this time on purpose, to which he squealed and shied away. I propped myself up on one elbow, grinning at him. "Well, good morning," I smiled, and he only blushed.

"Good morning, Mr. Possessive."

"Oh? What's that supposed to mean?"

He raised his eyebrows at me and arched a shoulder, flaunting the purple mark.

"Oh," I said in mock-realization, "_that_. I wouldn't call that being "possessive", exactly. It's just a love bite."

"Love bite? How long is that going to stay there, Ciel?"

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"And I'm supposed to hide it… how…?"

"Hide it?" I teased, "I thought you'd want _everyone _to know just who exactly you belong to."

"Ciel, I can't be walking around campus for a month with a hickey!" He looked at me, a little distraught, but I just shook my head.

"It's still a bit chilly outside, isn't it? Wear some of the nice scarves we bought you, Alois, it'll be alright, I promise." I looked at him honestly. "And when you're not wearing a scarf, I'll be sure to keep my arms wrapped around you so no one can see."

He looked at me sternly for a few more moments before his composure broke and he sighed. He let me lean in and kiss his lips, sitting up against the headboard of the bed. After we pulled apart he lifted a leg over me and sat, straddling my hips. He looked at me, hands resting on my chest.

"You are _very _touchy today," I commented, sitting up more against the headboard.

"I've just… felt like getting closer to you, I think," he said absentmindedly, leaning his face towards mine, putting on an innocent charade and batting his eyelashes, "that's all."

"Is it now?" I held his waist again, watching him lean closer to me, looking bright and unknowing – like a cat ready to pounce, graceful in every movement.

"And you talked about _me_ driving _you_ crazy," I said, watching his hips sway as he leaned over me, and he giggled.

"What are you talking about?" He asked playfully, his lips tauntingly close.

I silently wondered how far and long we could go in a hospital room before someone decided to walk in. Somehow this worry left me as I went for his mouth again, kissing him hot and heatedly as he straddled me, my hands finding their way down his smooth body to rest on his warm lower thighs, tugging his body closer.

I felt a warmth start in my stomach; my heart pounded, I pulled his heat closer, his mouth nearer. Closeness, heat, stimulation; that was all that I wanted.

I had to deny myself. "Alois," I spoke up, pushing him back, his lips away from mine, his body away from me. I couldn't do that, and definitely not here. "Alois, we can't. Not here, not right now."

He looked at me, a little dejectedly, but I placed an apologetic kiss against his smooth lips, and he seemed to forgive me almost instantly. He placed two soft hands against my face, and pulled me close. "Ciel, I love you."

"Alois…" I smiled at him, at _my _beautiful, precious angel. "I love you too."

He kissed me again.

**OwOwOwOwOwOwO**

**Obviously this was purely without a doubt fanservice. I hope you're all fangirling hard and feasting on your delicious fluff sandwiches. We've seen Alois and Ciel's darker, lustier sides here, haven't we? Oooh. Next chapter will be plot development, I swear! YAY PLOT DEVELOPMENT. **


	25. The Dark Truth Emerges

"I get to go home," Alois said contentedly, settled comfortably in the passenger side of the car as I pulled out of the hospital parking lot.

I smiled at him, and slipped his hand in mine. "That's right, I'm taking you home," I confirmed, tugging him close to kiss him warmly when we came to a red light.

He giggled, and I felt his fingers through my hair as he brushed the bangs out of my face. "I love you." He kissed my lips quickly again and pulled away as the light flashed green.

"Are you planning on coming to school tomorrow?" I asked him quietly, giving his hand a squeeze as I drove through the town, down the familiar route that led to his house.

"Only if you promise to stay with me all night," he smirked, leaning his shoulder against me in such a way that I felt the same, animal-like desire creeping at the corners of my subconscious.

"All night? But what if we don't get any sleep?" I asked in the same, suggestive tone he had used.

"Well then, we don't have to go school at all, do we? We can spend all day together."

I pulled into his driveway and shut off the car, listening to the engine as it cooled. I turned to look at him, "You really want to do that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're not _really _so willing to do something so scandalous, are you?"

"Scandalous?" his smirk grew, and he sidled closer to me. "How so?"

"How long have you been my boyfriend? Two months?" I questioned him, "and you're _already _wanting _that _experience?"

"What are you talking about?" he scoffed, "what's wrong with spending a night together? We did it last night didn't we?" he paused and gave me a knowing look. "Oh, dirty, dirty Ciel! I know what you were thinking of!" he leaned over me, giggling, touching our noses. "Ciel wanted to get a bit… _physical_, didn't you, Ciel?"

I shuddered, and it took all my willpower not to kiss him, hard. "I never said I _wanted _to, I just assumed that was what you were suggesting."

He giggled again, and walked his fingers up my chest. "You're losing your composure, Ciel. I suggest you try to get that under control," he hooked two fingers in my shirt collar, and pulled me closer so that our lips were barely touching.

"Alois," his name came out more like a strained whisper and less like a stern order.

"Kiss me, Ciel."

I kissed him, rough and passionately. I tasted the inside of his mouth, I felt his hot body against me as he slipped out of the seat belt and shifted himself in my lap, pressed close between my own chest and the steering wheel. My hands felt every curve in his sweet figure, and my tongue felt every detail in his mouth.

"Oh, Ciel," he moaned ever so quietly, pressing closer, letting my lips wander down his jaw and neck, tasting his heat, the passion that radiated off his skin.

He finally pulled himself away, his hands cradling my face. I leaned forward instinctively to kiss him more, but he held me away. I lifted a hand to hold the one he had on my cheek, and stroked my thumb across it.

"You are the most beautiful boy I've ever seen," I said gently to him, leaning forward to plant a few more kisses on his lips.

"And you're the most handsome man I've ever seen," he blushed, letting me kiss at his neck again.

I felt myself growling aggressively against his skin, and I felt him shiver, holding me closer, tighter. All I could feel was his heat, his warmth, and I continued to kiss down his throat.

"C-Ciel," he whispered.

I ignored him, pulling away from his neck to kiss at his lips, hard, silencing him. He kissed back for a moment, and I felt his hips rock against me before he pulled himself away, holding my face so that he was out of reach of my mouth.

"The windows are fogging," he said breathlessly, "we should go inside."

His face was flushed, and he seemed a little winded. "Of course," I said, opening the door and letting him slip off of my lap. "It seems like we've done a lot of kissing the last two days. Let's watch a movie. "

He blushed and took my hand as I closed and locked the door to my car, following him inside.

"What movie do you want to watch?" I asked him softly as he led me into the little living room where Thompson was waiting diligently for his master's return.

"I have an idea of one," he said before he was all but tackled by the dog, whose cropped tail was wagging happily as he licked Alois' face, as he'd been pushed onto the floor. The blonde laughed and hugged his dog. "I missed you too! I missed you too!" He exclaimed as he was attacked with dog-kisses.

I watched this display and chuckled slightly. Alois had been away from home for too long – and Thompson was the only one that had noticed. That seemed kind of pathetic to me, and suddenly I felt a sliver of anger towards this boy's "father", and my teeth clenched.

The blonde finally managed to get the Doberman off of him and sat up. I took his outstretched hand and pulled him to his feet, kissing his knuckles before the fingers slipped out of my grasp. He looked at me gently, a loving feeling hidden in the crystal blue.

He finally turned away, to a box under the stand holding up their little TV. "It's in here," he said, kneeling by the box and shuffling around for a little bit before pulling out a DVD that looked like it had been played _many _times.

"It's really old," he said, looking a little bashful, "but it's my favorite movie, I watch it a lot with Thompson…"

I took the DVD from him, and inspected the front. It was _"The Princess Bride_", and I wasn't the slightest bit surprised. Of course Alois would pick a sweet, wholesome and humorous love story as his favorite movie. It was very _him_. I smiled. "This is perfect," I said sweetly as I handed it back to him, "put it in."

"You're really okay with it?" He asked, kneeling down beside the DVD player to slip the disc in.

"Of course I am. It's a perfect movie to watch."

He smiled up at me, setting up the movie as I took a seat on the couch. He lowered himself into my lap, allowing me to wrap my arms around his waist and pull him close against my chest, cuddling him as we watched the movie. He was comfortable and relaxed, and we sat in a sweet silence as the movie played.

I'd maybe seen it once – Sebastian might have put it on to humor me for a short time as a younger child. But still, it made me feel good, happy, as I sat with Alois in my arms. Everything was better with him there. Everything.

Eventually the movie was over and Alois was beaming with happiness. It was a movie about honest True Love, and it seemed like that made him immensely happy.

"Let's watch another one," he said.

The day continued much in this way; just sitting on the couch and watching movie after movie, only walking away to eat or use the bathroom. We were content and relaxed – at peace. After everything that had happened, I had imagined that such peace would be impossible, and yet here I was, relishing in it.

Around nine-thirty at night, I noticed that his breathing had gotten exceptionally slower, and looking down at him, I realized that he had fallen asleep with his ear against my chest. At some point he must have drowned out the movie to listen to my heart, and fallen asleep like that. I smiled at his sleeping form, and kissed the top of his head lightly.

Thompson lifted his head from his spot on the floor, ears perked up at me.

"He's asleep," I said quietly to the dog, who offered me a few wags of his tail. I used the remote to stop the movie and turn off the TV, holding Alois protectively to my chest like a bride, carrying him gently to his bedroom. I lowered him onto the mattress and leaned away to adjust the blankets over him, but he didn't let go of the tight, child-like hold he had on the front of my shirt. The second he lost contact with my body he moved uncomfortably and opened his eyes half-way. It seemed that he was still asleep.

"Where are you going?" he whispered earnestly. Moonlight filtered through the window and reflected on his tired eyes.

"I'll be right back," I whispered in return, assuring him. "I need to go home to get clothes and my things for school tomorrow, alright?"

"Don't leave me," the volume of his voice rose slightly, as if he hadn't heard me. "Don't go,"

"I'll be _back_, Alois," I promised, "Five minutes, you can count."

"No, don't go away," he tugged me closer, attempting to bury his face in my chest.

"Alois, I need to get these things for tomorrow," I gently pushed his shoulders back, against the bed. "Just lay here, I will be _right back_."

"Isn't that what they all say?" His voice dropped suddenly; his tone dark. " 'I'll be right back, I'm not leaving you'. It's only for one night, no matter what they say…"

"Alois, what are you talking about?" This worried me; I couldn't tell if he was dreaming or what. I brushed the hair out of his face and kissed his lips quickly. He seemed to quiet slightly after that. I held his face with one hand, my thumb stroking his cheek. "Alois, baby, you're okay. I'm just going to get my things – five minutes tops. Count down until I get back, alright?"

After a slight hesitation, he nodded, but not before pulling me close into another kiss. "You come right back," he instructed, and I could hear the sleep in his voice. "_Right_ back, to me."

"Of course, of course," I assured him. I pressed my lips to his forehead, before stepping away from Alois' side. "Thompson," I called softly, and the dog entered the room, hopping nimbly onto his master's bed and sidling up next to him warmly. "Good dog," I praised, stroking the Doberman's head before quietly leaving the room.

As quickly as I could, I drove home, stuffing some clothes into my school bag along with my books and supplies, before heaving it onto one shoulder and starting down the stairs. I snatched the last slice of cake from the fridge, and ate it out of my hand as I settled into the driver's side of the car. Sebastian was probably out somewhere – I didn't really know where he went at night these days, but I didn't question him. He always came home to make breakfast for me.

I was just licking the frosting off my fingers when I stopped the car in Alois' driveway, grabbing my bag and locking the car before heading inside. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, watching the clock. He had put on a pair of Nike shorts and a tank top to sleep in. His eyes looked up at met mine as I entered the room, and he seemed immensely relieved.

"Why do you look so surprised?" I asked him gently, setting my bag on the floor and tilting my head at him. "I told you I would come back." He looked at me a little longer, but then avoided my eyes, instead looking at Thompson who was lying across his feet. "Get settled in," I told him, "and let me get dressed, alright?"

He nodded, scooting back to one side of the bed and stretching out, pulling the thin blanket over his shoulders. My eyes traced his curving form before turning to my bag. I undressed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants – out of habit I hadn't grabbed a shirt to sleep in, since I didn't normally wear one to bed. I silently hoped that Alois wasn't put off by that. I lifted up the blanket and slipped under it, faced with the blonde boy's back. I wrapped my arms around his thin waist and tugged him to my chest, kissing softly at his ear as I held him close.

He squirmed for a minute. "A-are you shirtless?"

"I forgot to bring a shirt to sleep in."

He seemed tense for a minute, but then relaxed into my chest, turning onto his other side so his ear was against my heart. "You're warm," he whispered, pressed close to me.

"I hope that's okay," I murmured back, resting my chin on top of his head.

"No…" he breathed, "I always want this here, next to me. I always want it, every night." He traced circles lightly on my chest. "Ciel, I really love you."

"I love you too," I responded, holding him tighter, "just go to sleep now, Alois… rest."

He settled down, his breathing slowed, and he slept again. This was right where I wanted to be; holding this beautiful boy that I loved, and feeling him breathe against me, our hearts beating in sync. It was a perfect moment, and one I _knew _I would cherish.

I was almost asleep myself, curled around the blonde, when suddenly the door opened and a loud voice was saying, "What's that car doing in our driveway Alo – " it broke off suddenly, and I turned my head to see a tall, stiff-looking man with rectangular glasses and unkempt, ink-black hair standing in the doorway. I pulled my arms from around Alois and turned completely to face this man, leaning on one side.

"Who are you?" His voice was cold, devoid of feeling, and stern.

Alois stirred beside me, lifting his head and looking over my back. He let out a small squeak of surprise and shifted uneasily. "D-dad,"

"Shut up."

I blinked, taken aback. How very… rude… I already disliked this man. In fact, I hated him. I grit my teeth.

He looked at me again, with cold, golden eyes. "Who are you?" He repeated.

"Ciel Phantomhive."

He looked at the scene before him, and Alois sat up, at attention.

"You're bringing boys home again."

"N-no, d-dad, it's… it's not like that,"

"Don't lie to me!" The man stepped forward and raised a hand to strike at Alois, but before I knew it I had my own cheek in the path of his stinging palm, and I felt the burn on my cheek. I placed myself between Alois' adopted father and him, keeping him hidden from those golden eyes with my bare chest.

The man gave me a hard look. "I can't believe you, Alois, I thought you'd gotten over this. I took you to therapy, I let you _talk _to someone, this stopped, at one point, it did. Alois, don't you remember? _A new boy every night_. Your ass was constantly split in half, you walked like you could hardly stand. _Every night_. Alois what is wrong with you?"

"Shut up!" Alois cried from behind me, I could feel him trying to hide himself in my skin. "Shut up, shut up! This isn't like that, you don't understand,"

"It sure as hell looks like it, Alois."

"We haven't done anything! We weren't going to do anything! I _love _him!"

"Shut up Alois! I don't want to hear that! I don't want to hear your _sorry-ass excuses_. You're a whore, you can't deny that."

My body was numb, my mind was in spirals. This wasn't true, this _couldn't_ be true; Alois, who was quiet, who rejected me the first time I ever asked him out, who was so kind and gentle and sweet; who blushed, who told me he loved me. This man had to be a liar, there was just no way…

Behind me, the boy was sobbing. He cried, his arms wrapped around me from behind and he just cried. I didn't know whether I wanted to pull away from him in disgust or grip him as tight as I could.

Alois, bringing home other men? I didn't… I couldn't… my brain was just a mess of questions and confusion, of hatred and love and misery. _What was going on_?

"Go away!" the blonde cried, holding me tighter. "Go away! I don't want you here!"

The tall man gave me a sharp look, before leaving and closing the door.

"Alois," I whispered, "What just happened…?"

**OwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwO**

**PLOT TWIST. What's going on? Find out in the next chapter X3 thank you so much with being so patient with me guys – I hope you've enjoyed this update, happy one year! For those of you that've kept on since the very first chapter, the very first day, week, month; thank you, so much. With all of my heart, I thank you. I love you so much, it's you guys that move me along, that keep me smiling and loving and hoping. So thank you, really. I appreciate it **_**so much**_**. Be on the lookout for the next group of chapters, and until then, I love you, with my entire being. I love you. **

**See you soon, **

**Emzi**


	26. You Were Made for Me

**Hey you guys! I'm sorry I just kinda… fell off the face of the earth, huh? XD I didn't mean to. But I've gotten sick and I have finals coming up… ughsldfjas. But schoolwork has kind of relaxed a little bit today so I had some time to write this :D I just wanted to let you know that I have a poll up on my fanfiction profile about what you guys would like to see in the upcoming chapters of this, just little ideas that I could incorporate for you :3 so check it out! **

**I've been DYING to make a doujin of this fanfiction for SO LONG because I want to draw it all out and see it and I just ;A; sadly my drawing skills suck and I have no sense of anatomy and I am clueless as to how to do toning and paneling and how do you even layout a manga page anyway I just /shot. So my dreams are crushed ;_; If anyone is a doujin-maker I would happily pay you in canine/dragon art and one-shots. A LIFETIEM SUPPLAH. **

**Alright, I'll stop babbling. Now to delve into Alois' past… hm… *evil laugh* **

**OwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwO **

"Alois…? Was that all… true…?" He had quieted, and I had turned to face him on the bed. His eyes were red, and his cheeks were stained with tears.

But slowly, tentatively, he nodded.

I couldn't take this. This was something I'd never expected to be faced with, not _ever_. My boyfriend wasn't even… my _boyfriend_, he was just… using me… I stood up from the bed; I had to leave, get this rage out of me, this frustration. I thought I had happiness, but every happiness in my life just had to be… ripped away, didn't it?

"Ciel!" his voice was desperate, and awful; it killed me inside. But I kept my back turned and started to walk out the door before his little hand grabbed my wrist and jerked me towards him.

I turned to face him, not stopping myself from grabbing his waist, hard. He gasped sharply, and I was suddenly very aware of how easily I could snap him in half like a twig. I don't know if it was the hold I had on him or the look in my eyes, but either way, he was afraid.

He swallowed, looking up at me, holding onto my upper arms, steadying himself. "Ciel," his voice sounded strained, forced. "Ciel, you need to listen to me,"

"What if I don't want to?" I asked, and my voice was colder than I had meant it to sound.

"C-Ciel, please," I could see more tears forming behind his eyes, "let me explain to you, Ciel, you need to hear why-"

"I don't _want _to know why, Alois!" I snapped, pulling away from him. "I don't want to know why you whored yourself to other men, I don't want to know why you wanted to 'use' me, I just don't want to know, Alois!" I glared at him, my fists clenched.

He grabbed my wrist again, looking me right in the eyes. "I didn't want to 'use' you. I'm not 'using' you," He said seriously, tightening his hold on my wrist, "I mean it, Ciel, when I tell you that I love you."

I just looked at him, skeptical.

"Ciel, _I love you_."

After a few moments of watching him, I felt my gaze soften. I sighed, looking down at his hand before taking it in mine and looking back up at him. "Okay," I said gently, feeling a calmness overtake me, "Okay, talk to me."

"Come sit down," He sat with one leg tucked under him on the edge of his bed again, and I sat across from him, taking his hand in mine once more. I could tell this was going to be a bit of a struggle for him.

"I think… I think I should have told you this from the beginning, but… I'm so disgusting, I was afraid… afraid you'd be disgusted by me too. But… but you need to know." His fingers tightened around my hand, and I stroked it comfortingly with my thumb. This was serious, and real, and something I knew I needed to listen to.

"Okay," he took a deep breath, and started, "So, my real mother… she was a prostitute. My brother and I were only born because she didn't have enough money for an abortion. She spent it on drinks. Drugs. Clothes. Luka and I didn't even have a home to live in. We waited on street corners and watched her get picked up and waited for her to get back… But one day she didn't… and after that me and Luka, well… we were by ourselves. I guess I just followed in my mother's footsteps because pretty soon, I was doing it too, to earn money for us. I would make Luka wait at a certain corner, and every night I'd get handed off from one man to the next. Greedy men. It was normal, for me. I'd make probably $500 a night, I figure I was pretty popular… I'd make sure we had plenty of food, and new clothes for me so I'd get picked up faster, and more often. It was a painful life… it was hard… And one morning, really early, Luka wasn't waiting for me. He wasn't there. I… I panicked, anything could have happened to him, out there on the streets. We lived in the slums, in the dirtiest part of England you could fathom. At that moment… I thought… I was going to die." His eyes started to fill with tears, but through the choking sobs he pressed on, and I listened. "It wasn't until a few days later that I found out what had happened to him… It wasn't cancer, like everyone is supposed to believe." It took a few minutes of silence before he could speak again, "I found his naked body under the iron gratings of a sewer. My brother had been raped and murdered."

I squeezed his hand, hard, trying to hide the hot tears that I felt in my eyes, too. I swallowed, and just held his fingers in mine tightly. I couldn't believe that such awful, terrible things had happened to this beautiful boy that I loved. Why had it had to happen? Why to him? It wasn't fair; he didn't deserve that, not any of it. I couldn't bear the thought of my angel enduring another second of that torture…

Eventually he started speaking again, moving on from the memory of his brother's awful death. "One night, I got picked up, and I didn't come back. A greedy man didn't pay me, and instead kept me in his house to use me whenever he wanted. I lost track of time, I have no idea how long I was trapped there. And then suddenly there was a light in the basement and someone had found me… The orphanage was a blur – I hardly remember any of that mess. My life was blank. Adoption was something that just happened to befall me and suddenly I was in another man's house; the same house I sit in now. Except… it wasn't the same. There was something that I was missing, and I didn't know what it was. I stole his credit card and all the money I could find – I stocked up on the absolute sluttiest clothes I could find, and spent night after night waiting outside a gay bar for someone to pick me up. They'd drive me home and spend as long as they wanted to in my bed. Some paid. Some didn't. Not like I cared, anyway, I just wanted the rush, the heat. It was what I lived off of – the only thing I'd lived off of for years. Of course my "dad" caught on and I was dragged into therapy, counseling, whatever. Eventually I got sick of my life and all those clothes were burned in front of my eyes, doused in gasoline and lit with the fires of my disgust and my hatred. I transferred schools, and up until now I spent my life living in the quiet loneliness of my misery and self-loathing. And when I met you, for the first time… I hated you, Ciel. You made me _know _just where my place was in this world; that I was dirt that could be stamped on by everyone. I started cutting. I was depressed. But that sudden change in you, it… it scared me. I didn't want to love you. I didn't even want to _like _you. I didn't think I was gay, or even bi. The things I did with those men didn't define what my preference was, but then… I couldn't help myself. I wanted you. I _needed _you. And Ciel, you made me fall in love with you. There isn't a man in this world that I'd rather love, or hug, or kiss. You… you're for me, just for me."

His hold tightened on my hand, and he looked me right in the eyes with his piercing, electric-blue gaze. Such beautiful eyes… they drew me right in… I found myself nose to nose with him, having leaned into him gently.

"Alois…" I whispered to him quietly, interlacing my fingers with his and lifting my other hand to his face to brush blonde hair back behind his ear. "You were made for me. You are perfect; the most beautiful boy I've ever seen. Alois, my angel…" I saw him close his eyes, and I did the same before whispering, "I love you." And I pressed my lips to his softly. We were both crying.

But now I knew what he had gone through, I knew _him_. It felt good to understand, and to know. And it felt good to know that I, at least, could be here for him. If I had never turned my life around… I didn't know where he'd have ended up. I didn't think I wanted to know.

What was important, though, was that I was here now. That I had him in my arms and that I was kissing him. That was the most I could do for him; I loved him, and there was nothing I would _ever _do that would take him from me. He was mine. I was his.

And to think; only months ago, I had hardly known him.

Now… his life was mine.

**OwOwOwOwOwOwO **

***trollolol* What did you think? ;3 LET ME KNOW I LOVE TO HEAR WHAT YOU SAY :D **

**Again, I'm sorry this was painfully late. I'm in a lot of mess and I've been struggling with a lot of things lately. But hopefully I can keep you guys updated to your satisfaction ;3 Don't forget about the poll on my profile! I need feedback owo **

**I love you all SO MUCH. Your sweet words help me get through my day :3 Love you! **

**Huggles,**

**Emzi**


	27. Whipped Cream and Cherries

**Hey you guys C: New chapter! I don't really have much to say DX Same old stuff, y'know? X3 I hope you enjoy this chapter though :3 Please leave a review! It is GREATLY appreciated! I love to know what you think :3 I love you all! **

**OwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwO **

I slept next to Alois for the rest of the night, holding him close and letting him breathe peacefully next to me. I didn't get as much sleep as I'd have liked; I couldn't believe all that had happened to Alois. It was awful, and it made me want to be sick. I stroked his blonde hair, and softly kissed at a place behind his ear; but I must have fallen asleep at some point because suddenly I was waking up, feeling the little bundle curled next to me start to move.

Alois nuzzled into my chest and sighed.

"Good morning," I said quietly to him, kissing his head a few times.

"Morning," he murmured, but I could feel him smile slightly.

"We slept through our first class period, you know."

"I don't care." He pulled away slightly so he could look at me. "I'm perfectly happy being here with you."

I smiled at him, and placed a quick kiss on his nose. "I'm happy being with you, too," I said quietly, brushing a strand of hair out of his eyes. He grinned at me, and we sat in silence for a few moments before I pressed my lips to his forehead and sat up. He lay on his side, watching me, his head resting on a soft pillow.

"I'm going to take a shower and get dressed," I explained as I stretched my arms, yawned, and stood. "Let's go out on a date today. All day."

"That sounds amazing," he said, nodding excitedly.

I smiled at him, and shuffled through the bag I had brought for the clothes I had picked out. Simple jeans, a white T-shirt, and a blue plaid button-up to go over it. But I knew that the minute I said the word 'date', Alois would be rifling through his mind for the best outfit – he wouldn't settle for something simple, like I would.

I stepped into the warm water of the shower, running shampoo through my hair and rinsing it off, just going through the motions. I planned out in my head all of the places I would take Alois that day. Soon enough I was out of the shower, pulling on the clothing and drying my hair in a towel. When I re-entered the bedroom, it looked like a tornado had blown through. Shirts, tank tops, jeans, socks, and underwear littered the floor, and Alois was standing on tiptoes, reaching onto the top shelf of his closet for more clothes. Just as I had predicted.

I came up behind him and felt him freeze when his head touched my chest. I reached over him and took down the jeans he had been struggling to get, and put them in his hands. Before he could turn around, though, I slipped my hands around his waist and tugged him close to me, burying my face in his neck.

"I don't care what you wear, you know," I murmured against his skin, "any outfit you choose will look absolutely adorable on you." I placed a few, quick kisses along his neck and behind his ear before I let him turn around to look at me, my hands still holding his waist. He only smiled and dropped the jeans, moving his hands to hold my face and pull our foreheads together.

These were moments I was sure he'd dreamed of having, they were the classic-couple moments, weren't they? Soft touches, slow movements, smiles and just… quiet. It wasn't like _I _didn't like them; I loved moments like this, where I could just be with him. But I could tell that these were the things that he cherished and had been wishing for, for a long time. Having been handled so roughly before… these were the things he longed for.

Still smiling, he kissed me softly, and I kissed him back, just as gently. It wasn't anything rushed, or deep, it was just… sweet, short, and loving. Pulling my lips away I looked into his eyes, memorizing their shape and hue, before slowly leaning away. "Take your time," I said, grinning at him. "I'll be waiting for you." He smiled back, and I left the room, laying on my back on the couch in the living room and whipping out my phone. I hadn't gotten any phone calls or texts from Sebastian – so he obviously hadn't noticed my absence. I sighed and took the moment to check my e-mail, facebook, twitter, and tumblr. Too much social media, I know, but it's like they say; once you start, it's almost impossible to leave.

Alois finally entered, smelling clean and sweet. I sat up to look at him and felt my heart pound hard in my chest. He hadn't gone over the top at all, but what he was wearing… it was… _cute_. He was dressed in skinny jeans that hugged his legs and were especially tight around his waist, and tan, cute flip-flops with light, watermelon-pink painted toes. On his shoulders he wore a light yellow, thin, short-sleeved shirt that was loose-fitting and "flowy" at the sleeves and waist. His hands were held bashfully behind his back and he rocked back and forth on his feet a little anxiously. I stood up and moved towards him, smiling. He looked at me and somehow he'd gotten his face to look _more _adorable than normal. A line of eyeliner was streaked just over his eyelashes and the lightest shade of pink blush was applied to his cheeks.

"You look… _amazing_." I said softly to him, and he blushed even more. "You always look amazing." I held out my hand to him and he took it with his own hand, nails painted flawlessly in a fruity green that matched the watermelon pink on his toes. I smiled and led him outside, holding open his car door for him and closing it gently behind him, before slipping into my own seat.

"Where are we going first?" The blonde asked, grinning widely and turning in his seat to look at me.

"Well," I said, smiling as well as I backed the car out of the driveway, "I was thinking that we could go somewhere… sweet for breakfast."

He looked excited, and kissed my cheek before I shifted the car into drive and started down the road, my hand closed tight around his.

It took only a few minutes to get to the old place – it was a 60's style ice cream shop, and was the trademark place that all the couples went to, eventually.

"Ice cream?" He asked, looking like a little kid that had just walked into a huge candy store.

I laughed at the expression on his face. "Yep, ice cream. Sundaes for breakfast – sound good?" I pulled into a parking space and winked at him.

"Amazing!" He practically jumped out of the car, racing over to my side and tugging at my arm. "I've never had ice cream for breakfast! Let's go!"

I chuckled at him, but allowed me to pull me into the shop after I had closed and locked the car.

We stood in front of the counter and he gazed up at the list of flavors and toppings.

"Whatever you want," I told him, slipping my arm around his waist and my thumb in between his jeans and his skin. He blushed slightly but relaxed against my touch, leaning into my side. After a few moments of him just taking it all in and me stroking the soft skin with my thumb, I spoke up.

"How about I get a big bowl of everything and we share it? How does that sound?"

His eyes lit up and he nodded. "Yes!"

I shook my head lovingly at him and pulled my hand away to step up to the counter, ordering a massive sundae with several scoops of ice cream, at least ten toppings, and a ponderous tower of whipped cream on top, with two cherries. When it was finally finished, I took it and carried it to a table with Alois sitting across from me, his eyes as big as saucers.

I plucked one of the cherries from the top and held it up to his lips. He blushed, but smiled and took the tart fruit into his mouth, giggling slightly. I grinned at him before eating my own cherry, offering him a wink before starting on the ice cream. I held hands with him across the table as we both ate the dessert, tasting the different flavors and sampling the multiple toppings.

There was a moment where I looked up and noticed a glob of whipped cream had ended up on his nose. He noticed it too, but before he could do anything I grabbed his wrist and pulled him forwards, leaning in and licking the sweet cream from his nose. He blushed deeply but I only smiled at him, leaning in again to lick hot fudge from the side of his mouth before kissing him, tasting the different flavors on his lips.

We managed to eat a good bit of the sundae together, but there was still a big portion left over that we had to throw away. Even so, it tasted good and filled us up.

"That was probably the best breakfast I've _ever _had, _ever_." He said once we were back in the car. He was insanely full, and kept a hand held to his swollen stomach.

"I don't think I've ever seen you eat so much; your stomach's poking out," I commented, teasing him.

He blushed, and folded his arms. "Oh hush," He said, a small pout on his lips. I watched him.

"What?" He asked, blushing even more. I only smiled and leaned over to kiss him. He inclined his head forward to meet me, and we kissed sweetly a few times, the taste of ice cream still on our lips.

"You're my favorite boy in the whole world," I whispered to him softly before capturing his lips again.

He held my face gently in one hand as he returned my kisses. "You're my favorite man," he replied quietly. I nibbled lightly on his lip, and he giggled softly before I pulled away, turning back to the steering wheel, but not without a warm smile to him.

"Where are we off to next?" He asked, the blush still prominent on his face.

"Well," I answered, putting the car in reverse and starting to back out. "You'll just have to see, won't you?"

**OwOwOwOwOwO**

**That was probably an awkward place to end it DX But I have my toughest final exam tomorrow *cries* so I'm heading off to bed. I know exactly where they're headed! I really do! **

**I feel like this is just pointless fluff, though ;_; do you guys even like the story anymore? I promise there's a plot buried under all this fluff n stuff – there really is! I have it all planned. But there's always room for the cutesy stuff, you know? Always. Especially Alois deserves some cute fluff, doesn't he? After being practically raped all his life. APPRECIATE THE FLUFF! **

**I'll see you guys next time ;3 I love you! **

**Love,**

**Emzi**

**PS I have wolf/canine and dragon commissions open on my dA! GO, EXPLORE! I want to draw things for you .w. **


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